Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Oh ,please ,quick ,stuff an apple in my mouth....

Ha ha ha's my new motto until spring arrives.

I have been hauling this hideous trunk around for 26 years.
it contains my kids baby books ,old pictures, old letters, their old school artwork...etc...

The other day ,I asked my husband to drag it out so I could "sort it"

(yes, THAT"S how boring it was around here)

He told me to go get some smaller containers to put it all in.
I had actually "felt safe" for 26 years ,having it in that stupid trunk because it was metal.

Well, after watching my steel truck burn before my eyes in about 10 minutes........that fantasy is GONE.

So, this weekend ,as my spouse and his uncle sat around watching movies .......I sorted the trunk into individual piles ...for each kid.

Yesterday ,I go to wal-hell to look for 3 smaller containers. I finally find the perfect ones, only they have 2 containers and NO lids.

Today , I go to the OTHER wal-hell. It is much bigger than the one by my house.

They had plenty of LIDS ,but NONE of the containers I wanted. ACK!!!

I settled on some cheaper brand and got myself the hell out of wal mart!!!

When I get to the register to pay , the cashier is an older woman but she has a "helper " maybe she's being trained or something.

So, before she even says boo to me ...she looks at me and says

"I bet SHE"S over 40, not by much , but I bet she's over 40"

I'm all shocked and mortified. WHY am I being persecuted like this?

Guess they passed some new law..."anyone UNDER 40 " has to be carded for cigarettes.

Thanks for letting ME be one of your unsuspecting gunnie
pig . (lab rats!!!!)

That was actually worse than being called Mame. (wth)

Then , yesterday,I also had to buy a third pair of workout shoes. I have two brand new pairs ...that hurt like hell.

Oh ...and what do I find out?

I had to buy a half size bigger!

Freakin 5'3 with a 8 and a half foot?

Why yes, yes , I AM bigfoot!!!

My mother (sweet thing) used to actually tell people (when I was so big footed , as to wear a size 7)

"If she didn't bend under so much at the bottom , she'd be tall"

So, I have 'effin HOBBIT feet!!!!

Short , fat and NOW hobbit feet!

Wasn't the obesity enough?

Yes, trust me, IT was!!!!!

Pass the body bags please!!! Hide this crap!!!


SOUL: said...

what????? got cigs, and no boxes? is that what you're trying to say? :))
and you look 40? that's a compliment knucklehead. :))

i'm takin my exciting ass ta bed.

Smocha said...

I got the boxes ,crack head ..not the ones I wanted.I settled for cheap brand. And I wasn't even BUYING cigarettes. I just walked up and the woman said "I bet SHE"S OVER 40!"

it was quite insulting!!!

You laze!!! what'd you do today???

luv me

Anonymous said...

I like your motto. Reminds me a T Shirt I saw years ago:
98 percent lady
2 percent bitch
And today I am not a lady, so backoff!

Golden To Silver Val said...

I did an earlier post about my feet getting bigger while I got shorter. Don't hit me, but I'm happy to hear that I'm not the only one with this malady. Gettin' old's a bitch. In the meantime, mix yourself a stiff drink and mellow out. Guess there are worse things, right? LQTM

SOUL: said...

oh-- well..scuuuuze me

that was days ago--i have no idea wth i did nooow

my feet grew teeeew

SOUL: said...

oh ps-- but i shrunk