Sunday, May 30, 2010

I need an I love Lucy marathon about now....

Ola, Ya'll

I'm trying to type with Cavuto sitting right in front of my monitor ,trying to shake hands.

This has been one of those slug days. It started out ok. I got up ,did my chores , took my walk ,went to the store to get ice. (No ice maker since the flood)

My young neighbor just now came up to my window and invited me to play whiffle ball with them tomorrow.

"Umm , thanks but I think I'll pass."

(Yeah, I got a picture of that. LOL)

Anyhow, I had big plans to go out on the boat today. As the day wore on (and I felt lazier ) I thought "oh maybe I'll just go out to the pool."

I just looked out there, there's about 25 people in the pool. Many of which are screaming children. Best of all ,NONE of those damn people LIVE here! They are nightly renters, which were never supposed to be allowed here. UGh! It makes me sooo mad!

Lovely. I guess I shall be doing nothing this afternoon.

I feel like an eating binge. If only I had eating binge fixin's .

Yesterday morning Floozie2 and I went to the Farmers Market .It was the first time I had ever been .I've only been living here for 6 years.

This is what I had in mind to buy once we got there. I was picturing yummy ways to make squash when I have company ,next week.

Who knew they would have stalls of bright ,sparkly jewelry for sale?

I did not buy any squash.I did not buy any produce at all.

All I bought was this cool silver ear cuff.

That old man was a hell of a salesman.

I did take the boat out yesterday.

Being a holiday weekend, it was pretty busy out there. (meaning the water was pretty rough)

I had to stay way out in the "open water" due to my inefficient (ok, totally useless) anchor.

Party cove. (click it)

There were too many boats in there to count. Most of them are tied up to each other.

I am dying to they know each other? Or do people just tie up with strangers?Any boaters out there know the answer?

On the way home I saw our old boat and it's new family.

It was a gorgeous day. It's always a little strange to be out there, alone on a holiday weekend.

Made me miss the family .

Only a few more days until girl week begins.

My sister ,Soul, the great Bass fisher will be coming out as well. She thinks she will be able to teach Vicki and ME how to fish.

I'll believe that when I see it. Us fishing.
Bwa ha ha !

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Hot ,sweaty and moldy too!

Picture it, yesterday Eva and I had a boat detailing job to do. When I originally looked at the boat ,I was only able to see the inside by lifting up the cover. I was by myself and there was no way to remove and replace the cover with one person.

I try to clean boats at the crack of dawn. You know, before it gets up to 95 degrees. No such luck on this one. We had to wait until Eva got off work. So we get to the site, it's 2 in the afternoon and a nice sweltering 95 degrees out.

We had a ton of stuff to get down to the boat and it was a long way to get there.

(see professional diagram) LOL
click it.

Lucky for us a nice man saw Eva in her bikini and offered to help us carry our stuff down there.

I get the boat lowered and we try to turn on the radio, then the shop vac. No power. We try every other outlet on the dock. No power. Eva goes (up the 2 flights of stairs) and asks the nice man "How do we get power on the dock?"

"I don't know ,it usually just works. "

We're screwed without power. Finally after we stand around looking stupid for a few minutes ,I notice the reset button on the power outlet. "Try pushing that button Eva. "

The radio blares to life. Good lord ,we're stupid. Yes, it is a wonder they allow us loose out in public :)

We're already sweating like pigs and we haven't even done any work yet. First thing we do is remove the filthy and humongous boat cover. It is not the snap on variety, it's tied on ,TIGHTLY.
We struggle and struggle to get the damn thing off and then we get our first good look at the inside of the boat.

OMG! We can not believe our eyes as we take in the mold covered scene before us.

The pictures do not convey how bad it really was.

And the carpet looked as if a murder took place .

Yeah, right there.

Oh boy. We thought we were gonna die. I have never heard Eva complain so much .

Nor do I think I have ever sweat so much.
I didn't even know that my eyes could sweat.

After much body breaking work...............

Ta da!

By the time we were finished we were so exhausted ,I was determined to make it back to the truck in ONE trip.

We could barely make it up all the stairs ,carrying all that crap.

Damn , we should have charged WAY more money!


Only a few more days until "Girl week" . Woo hoo!! I can't wait.

This year we will be joined by a special guest ,

Puffin, the traveling pig.

You can read about her here, over at Big Cute Beach Girl.


What's everyone's big plans for the holiday weekend?

Mine is to roast myself out in the water .

Happy Friday peeps!

Sunday, May 23, 2010

First time jitters.....

Hi ya'll,

Cavuto was kind enough to wake me up at 5:30 this morning. I would love to know if anyone else has a Bengal that forces them to get up at the crack of dawn. He's the only crackhead I've ever had that has done that with such consistency.

Since I was up so early ,it was the perfect opportunity to go take the covers off the boat and clean it. It's supposed to be 93 degrees today. A great day to take the boat out for the first time this year.
The only problem is, I'm always scared to go out the first time. What if they did something wrong when they "un-winterized " it? What if I forgot how to drive? What if I can't remember how to dock ? What if a rope gets caught in the propeller (again) ? What if someone sees me in a bathing suit?

Every year ,I have to just force myself to go do it. Face the fear.
So, that's my plan for today.

Not much has been going on around here. Ok, actually, absolutely NOTHING has been going on.
Ten more days until my friend Desert Dirt Diva, comes out for "girl week" .She comes out every year from California. We always go on at least one big adventure during girl week. One year we went to a "Big Cat Preserve" and slept in a tree house. We have camped in a yurt and a "rent a camp" ,been to dig crystals and gone to the diamond mine.
This year ,we're going to spend 2 nights in Memphis.If you've got the inside scoop on the best (cheap) things to see and do in Memphis ,please let me know. Good restaurants too.


I'll be back.

Ok, I'm back .It was scary ,especially the docking part and when a giant spider got ON me.

It was beautiful out there!

Hope you all had a great day!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Better get some toothpicks to prop your eyes open

Is it summer yet?

It's been rainy and cool ,pretty much since I got home. The boat is still sitting there all covered up. During the week ,it's like a ghost town around here. Dare I say it? I am bored.

Tomorrow a lady from a property management company is coming to look at our house.In the event that we wind up in England for another year,we may decide to rent our place out.
(Fear not neighbors, I do NOT mean the nightly rental type) I mean to one couple or something.
This making two house payments is doing nothing for our bank account.

Meanwhile,back in England......we will be moving out of our suburban apartment.To a city apartment or another city all together. I packed most of my personal stuff before I left and took an inventory of the house ,just in case hubby has to make the move by himself. I don't know why I worry so much. He is a perfectly competent, grown man. lol

Nothing much has been going on. I went out to dinner with Floozie2 the other night. It's really strange to me when I go some where after 5 p.m. ,I'm usually in my pajamas by then. (old lady much) :)

Been shopping and eating and watching lousy movies. I rented 3 movies. All of them sucked!

Crazy on the outside : Picture Tim Allen as a leading man. Awful acting.Awful writing. UGH! Just awful!

All about Steve : Love Sandra Bullock . Hated this movie. It's supposed to be funny. It wasn't .It's real slow and has that horrid music like the movie Juno.

Up in the air: I thought I would like this one because George Clooney is a guy who travels all the time for work. Maybe this one was slow with the Juno music. George Clooney is old. LOL
This one also had terrible writing.

I give up on movies.

I have yet to read a book since I've been home. My attention span is that of a flea.

The other day I had a flat tire. Luckily ,I was at home when it happened. My friend Eva and her son came over with a portable air pump and filled it up so I could rush to the tire place.

It never even crossed my mind that I have a spare tire. (hello!)

The nice man at the tire store fixed my flat and then told me that all my tires are dry rotted and I should get new tires "real soon" .

Awesome. One more expensive ass thing to add to our list. Yee haw!

I tried to go lounge around in the hot tub the other day.

There was one lady and a little boy out by the pool.

Lady is lying there in a lounge chair ,reading a book. Kid is in the pool.

As soon as I get in the hot tub the kid jumps right in there.

Mom just lays there reading her book ,while he jumps around ,throws legos ,talks to himself and splashes me.

Thanks you ignorant twit for helping me on my way to becoming a bitter hag.

Why yes, I am feeling rather bitchy lately.

How does one get unbitchy?

Happy Thursday Peeps!

Saturday, May 15, 2010

I should'a stayed home......

Yesterday I got out early ,ran all my errands and then met Floozie1 for lunch.We went to Cee Cee's cheap ass pizza buffet. Come to find out, it was no longer cheap . Nor did they have the cheesy bread OR the alfredo sauce any more. They got rid of all the good stuff and then jacked up their prices. I shall never go there again! 8 bucks and change to eat a wad of bread.

I really had no place left to go after lunch . So I thought to myself "well, I guess I can lounge around the pool all afternoon and work on my non- exsistant tan."

I arrive home and as I step through the front door I realize that I am standing in a puddle of water. WTF? Oh happy joy, my entire kitchen and entry way are flooded. I search around trying to figure out where the water is coming from. I open the freezer and as water gushes out all over my legs ,I deduce that the ice maker has broken. Water is just pouring out of it.
I restle to move the fridge out away from the wall ,and unplug it. That does nothing to slow the flow of water.I look around for some kind of shut off valve. I do not see one. So ,I try turning off the water under the sink. Nope...water is still pouring out of the fridge.
Finally, like the desperate housewife I am, I do what I usually wind up doing in situations like this.
I call my neighbors .

"Hi Nosey, it's me ,Miss Needy, is your husband home? My kitchen is flooded and I can't figure out how to turn the water off."

She was kind enough to send her husband,G5, right over.
He managed to find the microscopic and camouflaged shut off valve ,right behind the fridge.

Thanks G5!

My the time I got that mess cleaned up I was really ready to relax by the pool.

Like an idiot ,I had forgotten that it was Friday. Meaning all the damn nightly renters were here ,taking over our condo complex. They take the ambiance by the pool from Picture A ,to Picture B.

Scratch THAT idea. (insert cuss words)

I decide that since I'm trapped inside ,I may as well go rent some movies. Well, obviously I haven't been to the movie rental place in about 8 months. When I get there ,I see this huge sign,hand scrawled on the front door.

We have not got any new movies since Avitar.

We will not be getting any new movies ever.

We regret to inform you Movie Gallery will be closing.

We have no new movies.

Insert cuss words. I go ahead an rent 3 non-NEW movies.

The movie place is just a couple red lights away from my house. So ,in the maybe 10 minutes I was gone, what happens?

"Central Avenue was snarled for hours Friday afternoon after a pickup truck towing a large boat reportedly snagged a wire on a utility pole, partially breaking it. Entergy Arkansas Inc. said it was a secondary pole that did not feed residences or businesses, but a traffic signal was affected. The Hot Springs Police Department and Arkansas State Police blocked Central Avenue in front of Olive Garden because of loose utility wires"

This scene was between the movie place and Yep, MY ROAD.

Insert cuss words as I sit in traffic ,about to run out of gas for an hour. (2 f'n blocks from home)

Have a great Saturday Peeps!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Random stew

Ola Peeps,

You know how the first day of school, after summers over, you’re so relieved that you just sit there, in a stupor? I still feel that way about being home. I just can’t get out of my stupor. I am accomplishing nothing. I’m like a frekin’ vegetable. I have no routine yet.

Must get motivated.

We just had a cold snap for the last 2 days. It went from 89 one day to about 45 the next. My husband says it’s still freezing in England. My son says it’s still cold in Chicago too. Where is Spring??

The cats are just thrilled to be home. Cavuto is so happy he’s been trying to wake me up since 3 this morning. Crazy knucklehead!


Here are some observations since I’ve been home:

People are so much friendlier here, like store clerks .They says “have a blessed day!”

When you walk toward someone they tip their head ,smile or say “Hi” etc…They don’t drop their head and avoid eye contact.

There are many more obese people here than in England. I saw a woman in Walmart

, buying some fried food, she must have weighed 800 pounds. I am not exaggerating.

My cable here sucks. I never thought I’d say this, but I miss all the shows I got addicted to in England. I’m jonesin’ for my Sons of anarchy!

I miss the walking. Oh shut up. I didn’t mind the walking; I just hated the cold wind. I am quickly going to become a blob if I don’t get some exercise.

In England you did not see any old jalopy cars. There’s plenty of ‘em around here. Also never saw any gangsta cars. Plenty of them here too. Ditto the gansta’s that drive them.

Having a dryer ROCKS!

Having decent radio stations also rocks!

I should have bought some gladiator sandals while I was in England. Yesterday, I tried on a bunch of them .None of them fit because of my scrawny, deformed chicken feet and ankles. Damn it!


The boat is serviced and unwinterized and they will be bringing it back today. Yippee!

They were extremely concerned about being paid the fortune we now owe them. They called me 4 times yesterday. I have to go down this morning and pay them. Geez, what am I gonna do? Carry the boat on my back and run away. They know we don’t even own a trailer for it. People must not be paying their boat bills.

Hopefully I can remember how to drive a boat.

I finally got around to painting my nails that trendy jade green .You should see how it accentuates the old lady veins on my hands. Just stunning. Err..NOT!

My friends all seem to have “gotten a life” while I was gone. Who’d a thunk it. Good thing I’m used to solitude.

I have a big day planned. Make myself a list. Get off my ass. Go pay boat people. Highlight my hair, clean up cat vomit, figure out why the toilet is coming off the floor. Fun stuff like that.

Stroller Cavuto:

Happy Tuesday!

Luv me

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Happy Mothers Day!


It's a nice cool,rainy morning here. Two of my children have already called me.
They are scattered about the country. One is spending mothers day helping his mother in law,the other is going to the beach with his girlfriend.The third one will call me some time today.

If we were all in the same town we'd be going out to brunch somewhere. I thought about taking myself out to the bacon buffet but I think it would be kind of embarrassing to go out to eat ,alone, on mothers day.

Guess I'll skip that. My friends in town will be spending the day with their kids. It's just me and the cats today, with no particular plan. I may go see a movie. That I can do alone :)
I'm going to do my nails a trendy shade of jade green ,finish the book I'm reading and just be a laze all day.

I hope each of you has a wonderful Mothers day.

This video is dedicated to my sons. I am thankful and proud to be their mother.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Picture post

"Oh the horror!"

The boys are back to normal :)

Note to self : Dust this place, man.

"Ahhh, my good ole pimp couch"

Cavuto remembered that he LOVES to go for walks in his stroller. He would not shut up this morning until I took him out. Wonder how many new neighbors saw the crazy cat lady for the first time.

Morning in the 'hood ..............

Have a wonderful day peeps!

I'm off to some good old American yard sales :)

Thursday, May 6, 2010

The cats have landed......

Hi ya'll,

I was all set to leave Sunday morning for Dallas-land. Saturday night ,at the spur of the moment my friend Floozie1 agreed to come with me on my journey.
I was super glad to not be traveling alone because for one thing, my truck had not even been driven in 7 months.Anything could happen .

The plan was to drive down Sunday whenever we woke up and then stay until Wednesday.The cats were scheduled to arrive Tuesday ,too late for me to drive home.

Our drive down was just perfect. It was a little cloudy and I was just in awe of how lush and green everything was. The trees were mostly bare when I left England.The scenery on our drive looked just beautiful to me .

Since it was Sunday ,we made good time and hit no traffic . We got to Souls (my sisters) around 2 P.M.

My sister has 2 dogs.

Sushi. This little (well ,big fat) Min-Pin.

And Eevee, this German Malimar (I think)

Well, unbeknownst to me until NOW, Floozie1 is absolutely terrified of dogs.

My sister let the dogs in and they both made a beeline straight for Floozie 1.

She nearly had a heart attack .

Eevee looked something like THIS.

Believe me ...scary ....even if one does not have a dog phobia.

Luckily, arrangements were immediately made to keep the little darlings in Souls bedroom or outside during our visit.

We visited ,we ate way too much restaurant food ,we removed some wallpaper border and we thrift shopped our way to exhaustion every day.
Soulman grilled some delicious chicken and we watched many episodes of I love Lucy.

My niece Soulkid, is now 16 and it is unreal how gorgeous that kid is.

We never looked like that .LOL

Thanks Soulkid for sharing your quarters with us :)

I was naturally a nervous wreck about the cats flight. (so was my husband) He had to drop them off in London at 6:30 A.M. their flight wasn't until 11:40 ,he said "I felt like I was abandoning them."

Soul and I went to DFW to pick them up . The guy brought them out to the waiting area and I started talking to them . Cavuto began screaming his head off . O'Reilly was totally silent. I looked in his crate and did not even see him. It looked like nothing but a wad of blankets. I spoke to him. No response. UGH! My heart fell to my feet ,thinking he was dead.

I asked the guy "What's wrong with him?"

"he's just hiding."

"No he's NOT! "

Apparently he WAS just hiding. Thank God!
Both of them had peed in their crates (they had been in them for 16 hours) O'Reilly must have been mad or ashamed. It took hours for that horrible feeling in my chest to go away.

The cats were growling and hissing at each other all night. They were pretty silent on the drive home though. We headed home at like 8:30 a.m. expecting to hit rush hour traffic. Amazingly, we hit NO traffic jams.

We made it home by 2:15 and I know Floozi1 had to be even more pooped than I was (she is 72). I immediately took a 2 hour nap.

The cats are still a little hissy at each other. I hope they will be back to normal in a day or so.

I just told my spouse "I will spend today recovering."

He said "I can't believe you need to "recover" from a 5 hour drive."

Ha! It's not just the drive ,it's all the nerve wracking of the cats, the drive and I hadn't even been home long enough to be over my jetlag before making that trip.

I'm wimpy. What can I say?

It's good to be home ! It's supposed to be 90 degrees today. I may get my albino self out in the sun. Hope I don't blind anyone.

The boat is gone ,being serviced and un-winterized or I'd be out on the lake today.

Thanks for having us Soulio and Soul clan!

Everyone else, have a great day in your worlds!

Luv me

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Save me........

I've been busy a hell ever sense I got home.

Internet problems, cell phone problems, bill problems.......

Today, I spent the entire day cleaning out my closet.

(Yes, that's right I HAVE a closet) WOO HOO!!!

My hideous mess is behind a closable door. I can shut the door on ALL that ugly mess.

Little did I know that it would take me ALL day to clean out my wonderful closet.

It may be messy ...but I can't tell you how thrilling it is to HAVE a closet.

I'm still in awe of how huge everything looks.

Look at the size of that dishwasher!

Look at how TALL those paper towels are!

Look how huge my nearly empty fridge IS!!

I can't believe how everything is so brand new to me. I'm like a kid in a candy store.

I was even THRILLED when I went to Walmart!
So much stuff . All in ONE place. I could have spent hours in there just looking at all the stuff.

(you know you've been in England too long....)

I shall try and get a real update on here SOON. I have so many observations about the good ole USA to tell ya'!

But right now ,I must go get ready . I'm off to see my sistah' and pick up my babies. (the cats)

Have a great Sunday!

Luv me