Saturday, March 27, 2010

Awards,fights and comments oh my.....

The difference between a boy mom and a girl mom :

Picture it , Antelope Valley ,about 20 years ago. My friend Poodles (Desert dirt diva) and I lived next door to each other way out in the mojave desert. We hadn't known each other long but were well on our way to becoming great friends.

My boys were 6 ,8 and 10 . Poodles only had one kid back then ,a daughter Wendi ,8 years old.

Between our houses was an old half fallen down shack .

One day Poodles and I had just returned from the grocery store.

Right as we're both unloading groceries out of the car ,Wendi comes running out of this shack. All of a sudden she begins shreiking ,and screaming .

Apparently she had just stepped on a nail. Me, being an experienced "boy mom" carry on unloading my groceries. Stepping on a nail is no big deal ,right? It's not like it was poking out the top of her foot or anything.

Meanwhile ,Poodles (girl mom) Drops everything and panics like it's the end of the world.

A little while later she comes to my door all mad as a wet hen because "I " did not find it panic worthy. I stop her in the middle of her tirade and say " wait a minute I will go call an ambulance right now!"

(Sarcasm, just part of my charm)

This was our first fight as freinds. Poodles now has 5 kids (including twins) and I hope that I trained her well to "keep calm and carry on" :)

Wendi is now a boy mom. I hope she has given up shreiking and screaming. :)

(Love you guys)


Val from has given me this wonderful friendship award. Thanks Val! Here are the rules that accompany this little award:

First, you post about your award, advising who gave it to you and create a link back to their blog.

Then you list five things that make you happy.

Last, pass along this award to five bloggers who make you smile.

Five (more) things that make me happy:

  1. Walking 10 feet out my front door to my big white chariot and being able to go any place I want.
  2. My dryer baby!
  3. Being out in the boat with Nickelback on the stereo.
  4. going out to eat
  5. The fact that I’ll be reunited with these things in 5 more weeks !

I shall pass this along to.,my real life little sister.And a great writer in case you're not familiar with her blog.,My real life BFF. A terrible speller with dial up.LOL The kindest hearted BFF ever!,My other little sister .I've known her since she was 3 . She's a grandma now and an inspirational go getter of a gal., He's a goat herder who spends all his time on facebook.My bloggy brutha' whom I hope to meet in real life some day cuz he's totally my homey.,Skeletor is everyone's friend. He's the epitome of a happy go lucky dog in spite of his tragic past.

Of course this means some of you (Audrey and Bradley) will have to update your flippen' blogs.


Comments to comments :

Mary said...

I am a BOY mom, too, and can identify with everything in your post. Our "really biggie" was when the boys decided to build a tree platform on the edge of a swamp. One dropped a hatchet from about 20 feet up and it hit another on top of the head. They had an Army surplus first aid kit with them. Kid climbed down and sewed up the damage caused by the hatchet. Result: Infection, big time $$$, and other sundry complications.

NOTE: Most women survive being a BOY mom but not without developing a couple of "ticks" along the way.

Mary ,I didn’t know that you were a boy mom. You still retain such femininity. Aren’t your grandkids all boys too? Lol

I think my kids would have been to wimpy to stitch up each others heads with no pain killer .That’s a good one. How old were they when that happened?


BloggerSOUL said...

OMG -- this is THE best video you have EVER produced ! i loved every second of it-- and the song too. of course.

Thank you.

they age me, in fact just last night i realized that wes will be 30 this year. good lawd. i was just a pup when he came along-- and in the earlier shots of him in the video- i remembered-- i was his temporary mamma, and also telling kids at school that he was MINE. hmmmm. thank God i was there tho-- gran gran -- oh man. that poor baby wouldn't have made it out alive if he were to solely depend on her. -- remember i had to get out of school on a hardship-- to take care of him?

She is speaking of when I was in Army boot camp. My oldest son was 14 months old and stayed with her and out mom.(Gran gran)

and you did a fantastic job with these boys--- no one else on this planet coulda done what you did under the circumstances to make them the wonderful young men that they are today.

Awww. Thank you :)


Bloggermidwesttomidlands said...

You should be proud. So many accidents that you all survived. It was hard to read ( thinking of the pain) but also amazing you all made it through and it sounds like in a good way. Having your computer on the blink then is just a small glitch:)Take care!

Being a boy mom will toughen you up pretty early on. Lol


BloggerWesley said...

Nice post ma. Love you too!
A shame you can't go to the keys. You can Kim can share a pity pot.

Some day I WILL get to go to the KEYS! Maybe next year :)


Bloggerdesert dirt diva said...

soul could not have said it better....I too remebers things these wonderful boys have done...and yes they all have have grown into fine young men!Pat yourself on the back deserve to. jumper cables on the pee-pee...priceless....and wes is gonna be 30? shocking! ..I love ya call me...

Thanks poops. Can you guess which kid put the jumper cables on his wee wee?

AnonymousAnonymous said...

I can still remember when Wes was born .... I was thirty. I told my co-workers, when I was growing up all my great aunts were OLD. I didn't feel old! But, Mother was right at 40 when I was born. So, her siblings WERE old when I was growing up! Aj

Holy crap, does that mean you’re 60? LOL


BloggerBlissed-Out Grandma said...

Wow, you went through a lot of boy drama! Clearly, my four brothers just never tried hard enough! One broken arm, some chicken pox...very mundane!

LOL ,My kids did everything in a big way. When they had chicken pox they also had a nice raging case of head lice at the same time. It was awesome. (NOT!)

Kalli P. said :

Lena, you should have your own TV show, that was hilarious!

Thanks J

My daughter in law said:

P.S your last blog is my favorite of all times!!! haven't laughed that hard in a long time.

Glad you liked it honey J

BloggerBrad said...

Who was on the phone?

I get some odd/obscene phone calls occasionally - Sounded like some she-male with a glandular problem.


Very funny smart ass. lol


BloggerWesley said...

It sounds like you were planning on eatin curry for 5 days whether or not he was there?

NO! If he’d been home all week I would have been cooking something different each night. I’d have frozen the curry.


BloggerGolden To Silver Val said...

Oh no you don't! I see you tryin' to sneak out the back way without taking the award I gave you. You're my buddy and in my circle of TAKE it...dammnit! Bwhahahahahaha If you don't take it, I'll haunt you...I KNOW where you live. (well, kinda anyway). Anyhow....PLEEEEEEASE accept it....and pass it on. Hardly no work...only have to do FIVE things!!!!! And this time you don't have to dance naked on the roof of a Studebaker. I loved the remark about eating the cake and hiding the evidence. I have soooooo been down that road many times. LOLOLOLOLOLOL

I’m on that today! Thanks for the award Val.


BloggerSOUL said...

isn't that cake hard as a rock by now? :)) wish i was there for it on day one. looks yummay-

No. the damn thing is still moist and delicious!


AnonymousAnonymous said...

If someone asks for Mr. Smocha, you tell them he cannot come to the phone right now - you don't tell the ax murderer that your hub is out of the country! I posted yesterday on your Boy Mom blog about the cat vid - cat was trying to bury that empty plate in a pretend litter box. I wondered what had been for dinner that the cat treated like cat poop and wanted to bury it. Now I know - curry. Gahhh!! First time I ate a curry dish was in Jimmy's Restaurant in Hong Kong, China. I never went near curry again for 20 years. Now I kinda like it - but that first time I burped up curry for 2 weeks. G5

Hey G5 ,your post on the other one did not show up.

The guy on the phone had told me who he was. lol

O’Rielly tries to bury anything that does not belong. He likes to keep things clean.

I think I’m curried out for quite some time now. Hopefully it won’t take me 20 years to get over it. :)

Have a great weekend ya'll!

Luv me

Friday, March 26, 2010

Oh God, Please no more curry......

Monday morning at the crack of dawn, the phone rings .

Me: all groggy "Hello"

Some guy: "Mr.Smocha?" (shit, do I sound THAT bad in the morning?)

Me: "Umm, no this is his wife . I think he's in Denmark. Oh wait ,maybe it's Finland."

Cripes ,I can't even keep track of which country my husband is in.

I believe it was that same night that he came home from Helsinki,Finland.

In my own little mind ,I assumed that he would be home for days in a row. I had bought stuff to make myself a big ole pot of smokin' hot curry.

My husband is the biggest "pepper wimp" in the world. So when I realized he was coming home
I made my big pot of curry for me, I also made a pot of roasted balsamic chicken and vegetables for him, AND that awesome blueberry coffee cake.

So hubby gets home ,eats his chicken ,doesn't even touch the cake.

Later on.....

Me: " What happens tomorrow?"

Him: " I have to leave for Spain at 4 A.M. "

Oh, isn't that special? Why can I not remember ANY of this crap??

I have just eaten 'effin curry for the 5th night in a row.

I've begun hallucinating about foods I would love to have. (Besides curry)

Like Mexican food, some Cheetos, sunflower seeds, brownies, bar b q, chicken fried steak with gravy,fried okra, a big ole greasy cheeseburger,some french toast with maple syrup, even a can of Underwood chicken spread with Ritz crackers.

And......I've been eating delicious blueberry coffee cake for 5 nights in a row.

I'm sure hubby is going to have some snarky comment when he sees what's left of that cake.

Only one thing to do, go eat the rest of it before he gets here. :) then hide the evidence.

I simply MUST go out to eat tomorrow. I don't care if it's at Tesco!

Bon appetite ya'll

I have 30 minutes left to finish off that cake!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Boy mom

My computer has been on the blink for days. Gah! If my spouse didn't have all the cords anally wired together ,I may have thrown the damn thing out the window by now.

My outgoing mail still won't send. Hubby is in Spain if you think I'm ignoring you, I'm not :)


My children are gearing up for their annual trip to the Florida Keys.

Naturally that has me gearing up for “extra worry” mode.

One time after my 3rd son was born I asked my eldest “How come we don’t have any girl babies?”
With no hesitation he replied “ Cuz you’re a BOY mom.”

That I am .One thing for sure, life as a boy mom is never dull.

(This is taken from an old post from 2007)
Life with all boys:

Shovels will split heads open. No matter who happens to be looking out the window while a boy hits his brother in the head with a shovel..

Meat cleavers will, simultaneously chop off the tips of 4 or more fingers. And yes..It will hurt when they blow up all 4 fingers like sausages in order to stitch them. And yes …mom should hold said boys hand …but close your eyes very tightly …and don’t look while fingers are being inflated like sausages or while all 4 fingers are being stitched right through fingernails. (Unless you like to faint)

Boys falling 20 feet down a flight of concrete stairs will always land right on the top of their head, resulting in a skull fracture and an epidural hematoma and (emergency brain surgery & craniotomy) (or worse)

Boys jet skiing in the ocean will result in a wave immediately crashing into Jet Ski…causing Jet ski to crash right into kids face, splitting face wide open.

A 13 year old dumb ass with a can of hairspray and a lighter CAN and WILL blow up the backyard, set the trampoline on fire and cause the entire family to hide behind the couch in the dark, while fire trucks and ambulances screech through the neighborhood looking for an exploded bomb. And /or the pyromaniac responsible for making them leave their warm dinner for some dumb ass playing with hairspray and a lighter.

A 5 year old boy , not allowed to play with fire can and will set a green tree on fire with a pair of broken glasses and the power of the sun. And you thought cave men invented it.
Cave BOY did. Accidentally, of course ..and he blamed his brothers.

The kid, who gets car sick EVERY time he gets in the car, will also be the kid who constantly gets spontaneous bloody noses.

If the once in a lifetime chance comes along for your kids to go to camp for 9 days, one will have to have his tonsils out. He’ll miss camp, stay home, watch Ninja Turtle videos until you are ready to poke your eyes out. He’ll refuse to eat anything, even ice-cream, so you can spend many nights in the emergency room re-hydrating him with I.V.s.

If a 3 year old decides to put jumper cables on his wee wee , while in the back seat of the car. It WILL hurt and he WILL scream until you can find a safe location to pull over and remove the jumper cables.

If a 5 year old boy puts a snapping turtle near his bare stomach, the turtle WILL bite and become attached to child’s stomach.

It is not very easy to get a snapping turtle to open its mouth against its will. Getting the turtle to let go of the kids stomach is sort of like getting a pit bull to let go of a live chicken.

If a 4 year old boy yells and cries “I’m awewgic to hawt dawgs” It really means “as soon as I take a bite of this hot dog I will vomit all over my plate”

If you come home from work and catch your 15 year old son in the shower with his girlfriend, remember “They weren’t doing anything”

They were just in there like a couple of Cherubs, taking a shower.

If your teenage son jumps over a drum set, while on stage in front of the entire school, he WILL land right on his face and break out his front tooth at the root. The new tooth will cost $3,000.00
Naturally this will be the kid who just had the $3,000.00 braces on his teeth.
The next year, the same tooth will be broken out by a kids head in a mosh pit at Ozfest. This time you will make him pay for his own damn tooth.

If you are on a cross country road trip and a child grips his head in agony and begins writhing around on the seat like a worm in hot ashes, it probably means that his eardrum has just spontaneously burst. Take the nearest exit with a blue “hospital” sign and wind up in ghetto hospital emergency room. Don’t worry; the armed guards will protect you.

Naturally this will be the same kid with the car sick/bloody nose issues.

My awesome boys :I love you guys!

(Nothing says trashy errr....I mean classy like having your couch covered with a big ole curtain. Do not buy a freezing cold leather couch in England.Ignore that .You never saw that)

Now if only I could make him clean out his own cat box and do laundry.


Have a great day Peeps!

I will catch up soon on all the blogs and mail (I hope)

Thursday, March 18, 2010

This camera is stuck to my eye.....

Jane over at the gorgeous blog midwesttomidlands kindly gave me this Happy 101 award. Thank you Jane! I am honored :)

Here are the rules:

1. When you have received this award you must thank the person that awarded you in a new post.

2. Name 10 things that make you happy.

3. Pass this award onto 10 other bloggers and inform the winners.


1. Being a spoiled housewife with a responsible husband makes me happy.

My life has not always been so worry free.

2. My kids make me happy , they're awesome.

We have great times when we're together. They're all smart,talented and decent human beings and they're all grown up baby! THAT makes me happy too.

3. My homies make me happy.We have cackling fun times no matter what we're doing.

(this is only some of them)

You know who you are :)

4. A clean house makes me happy. I grew up with a mother who was the queen of clutter. Then had 3 sons. It was no easy task to have a clean house back in the day.

Now,if I could just train my husband not to be so messy. LOL

5. Shopping makes me happy. Especially at thrift stores. You never know what you'll find and I admit it, I'm cheap. I love the thrill of a bargain.

6. Having a sense of humor makes me happy.

(This was my actual business card at Halloween)

And my Real estate partner. She's still in business if you need a Realtor in Arkansas :)

Even during crappy times.....being able to see the humor always helps .

7. I love animals ,not just my constant companions O'Reilly and Cavuto. I love most of them .
Mainly the furry variety.

Seeing a deer , cows or a wild bunny thrills me!

8. I love reading a book I can't bear to put down.

9. Being some place warm and tropical makes me happy!

10. Photography makes me happy. I usually always have a camera with me. Unfortunately, I rarely have willing subjects that are not cats.
(sorry I think I got a few crappy ones in there) ANDDD the stupid movie is on here twice. Ignore the second one :)

Now the hard part. Which bloggers shall I give the award to???
Hmmmmm.... I guess I will go with blogs that make me happy!


Comments to comments :

Heather said...

flipin heck, that hospital sounds awful! i hope you ribs feels better soon, i can't believe how much you have to pay!

That would be our local “surgery” . I can’t believe what we have to pay either. It sickens me.

Bloggermidwesttomidlands said...

Yes the NHS is not like the clinics in the USA, one extreme to another. I know what you mean though, and hope your ribs are better. Wow didn't know you had to pay for yours, that's a lot of moola. As far as Stavanger, that's where my ancestors came from, not a cave though!!

LOL I hope they didn’t come from a cave. Small world. I had never heard of the place until last week.

BloggerMary said...

The clinic- - yuck!!! Stay well.

Enjoyed the pics as I always do. The caves look secure but I'd hate to go to work there every day.

I hate to say it, but my husband is not the greatest photographer. Shhhhh

BloggerA Brit in Tennessee said...

I remember paying for my National Health stamp out of my wages, but didn't pay attention to it being that expensive, wow !
I hope that clinic was just a bad example of the National Health, there are clinics poorly run in the States too, it all depends on the staff's standards.
Couldn't work in any cave, I have this fear about being closed in...
kudos to your husband for being able to tolerate that kind of work.
Get yourself a Wall's Ice Cream with a Cadbury's flake...that should make ammends.

I could not imagine being in that place every day. My hubby only had to go examine the place. Then write a big report about it.The idea of being under ground creeps me out.

AnonymousAnonymous said...

You gave a perfect description of socialized medicine. Our Dem congress is trying to vote it in here so we can experience the same joy you did. I still think you need an xray and keep going back till you get one. The cave is neat but humidity in there may be way too high for a data center. Would cost a fortune to install enuf A/C to dry out all that cave. G5

Anyone who thinks of voting for it better think long and hard!

I imagine they have a/c’s and all that in place there. Or the cost was figured into hub’s report.

BloggerTina... said...

great now i'm itchy all over, so thank you for that.

LOL you’re just jealous because my life is so ritzy.

BloggerBrad said...

It always the same for the IT guys - always get stuck in a basement or closet or hole somewhere, but now a cave? that's a new one on me!

Can you imagine?

BloggerBrad said...

Duck eggs are blue? News to me! - looks good - We just moved out of our bedroom to remodel - I was thinking a simular blue. We'll see what's left to paint after Jay's done taking walls out. My 3 bedroom house is becoming a 2 bedroom house. Good thing I plan dying there cuz with that & the goats my resale value is in the toilet. Ha-ha-happy St Paddy's day.

Duck egg blue is very popular right now. Lot’s of accents are available in that color as well. Curtains, rugs, towels, you name it!

You’re right ,having only 2 bedrooms WOULD make your house harder to sell. What is the actual point of having those goats? Do you sell them? Use ‘em for lawn mowers? Make cheese? Lol what ?

BloggerNocturnal Queen said...



AnonymousAnonymous said...

Brad, a friend of mine did just that. After the death of her parents, she was an only child, she planned to move into their house. They took one bedroom and had the bathroom enlarged using about a third of bedroom. Then they took the rest of the bedroom and had it made into BIG closet. You can always use alot of closet space! Lena's aunt Janice

See above :)

AnonymousAnonymous said...

ps .... love the blue! aj

BloggerMary said...

Love the blue. Good job!!

Thanks! It is a HUGE improvement if I do say so myself :)

Blogger midwesttomidlands said...

Oh sure go back to Arkansas and sit on the dock and go boating and leave the rest of us here:) Great improvement on the loo. Now I have a Happiness Award for you over at my blog, so please come and pick it up and share your 10 happy things!
Cheers! jane

Thanks again Jane! I can't wait to go home to the sun and the boat :)


It's taken me nearly all day to do this post.Blogger wouldn't behave for me to say something about the bloggers I gave the award to. Sorry guys.

Happy Friday!