Boy mom

My computer has been on the blink for days. Gah! If my spouse didn't have all the cords anally wired together ,I may have thrown the damn thing out the window by now.

My outgoing mail still won't send. Hubby is in Spain ...so if you think I'm ignoring you, I'm not :)


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My children are gearing up for their annual trip to the Florida Keys.


Naturally that has me gearing up for “extra worry” mode.



One time after my 3rd son was born I asked my eldest “How come we don’t have any girl babies?”
With no hesitation he replied “ Cuz you’re a BOY mom.”



That I am .One thing for sure, life as a boy mom is never dull.


(This is taken from an old post from 2007)
Life with all boys:


Shovels will split heads open. No matter who happens to be looking out the window while a boy hits his brother in the head with a shovel..



Meat cleavers will, simultaneously chop off the tips of 4 or more fingers. And yes..It will hurt when they blow up all 4 fingers like sausages in order to stitch them. And yes …mom should hold said boys hand …but close your eyes very tightly …and don’t look while fingers are being inflated like sausages or while all 4 fingers are being stitched right through fingernails. (Unless you like to faint)




Boys falling 20 feet down a flight of concrete stairs will always land right on the top of their head, resulting in a skull fracture and an epidural hematoma and (emergency brain surgery & craniotomy) (or worse)




Boys jet skiing in the ocean will result in a wave immediately crashing into Jet Ski…causing Jet ski to crash right into kids face, splitting face wide open.





A 13 year old dumb ass with a can of hairspray and a lighter CAN and WILL blow up the backyard, set the trampoline on fire and cause the entire family to hide behind the couch in the dark, while fire trucks and ambulances screech through the neighborhood looking for an exploded bomb. And /or the pyromaniac responsible for making them leave their warm dinner for some dumb ass playing with hairspray and a lighter.





A 5 year old boy , not allowed to play with fire can and will set a green tree on fire with a pair of broken glasses and the power of the sun. And you thought cave men invented it.
Cave BOY did. Accidentally, of course ..and he blamed his brothers.





The kid, who gets car sick EVERY time he gets in the car, will also be the kid who constantly gets spontaneous bloody noses.





If the once in a lifetime chance comes along for your kids to go to camp for 9 days, one will have to have his tonsils out. He’ll miss camp, stay home, watch Ninja Turtle videos until you are ready to poke your eyes out. He’ll refuse to eat anything, even ice-cream, so you can spend many nights in the emergency room re-hydrating him with I.V.s.






If a 3 year old decides to put jumper cables on his wee wee , while in the back seat of the car. It WILL hurt and he WILL scream until you can find a safe location to pull over and remove the jumper cables.






If a 5 year old boy puts a snapping turtle near his bare stomach, the turtle WILL bite and become attached to child’s stomach.



It is not very easy to get a snapping turtle to open its mouth against its will. Getting the turtle to let go of the kids stomach is sort of like getting a pit bull to let go of a live chicken.






If a 4 year old boy yells and cries “I’m awewgic to hawt dawgs” It really means “as soon as I take a bite of this hot dog I will vomit all over my plate”






If you come home from work and catch your 15 year old son in the shower with his girlfriend, remember “They weren’t doing anything”

They were just in there like a couple of Cherubs, taking a shower.







If your teenage son jumps over a drum set, while on stage in front of the entire school, he WILL land right on his face and break out his front tooth at the root. The new tooth will cost $3,000.00
Naturally this will be the kid who just had the $3,000.00 braces on his teeth.
The next year, the same tooth will be broken out by a kids head in a mosh pit at Ozfest. This time you will make him pay for his own damn tooth.







If you are on a cross country road trip and a child grips his head in agony and begins writhing around on the seat like a worm in hot ashes, it probably means that his eardrum has just spontaneously burst. Take the nearest exit with a blue “hospital” sign and wind up in ghetto hospital emergency room. Don’t worry; the armed guards will protect you.

Naturally this will be the same kid with the car sick/bloody nose issues.





My awesome boys :I love you guys!








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(Nothing says trashy errr....I mean classy like having your couch covered with a big ole curtain. Do not buy a freezing cold leather couch in England.Ignore that .You never saw that)


Now if only I could make him clean out his own cat box and do laundry.





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Have a great day Peeps!


I will catch up soon on all the blogs and mail (I hope)