Friday, July 30, 2010

I'm back.......

Hi ya'll!

Long time no see. I have literally been too busy to blog for weeks. Fun busy ,though.

We have had lots of company and lots of good times. First we had my hubby's uncle and his girlfriend here for a few days.Then we had 3 sons,one wife,one girlfriend, one sister,one niece and one brother in law.
My first husband was even thrown in the mix for a couple days there. He stayed at the motel with the kids though.

Hubby and I have baked ourselves on the boat for so long we look like a couple of old leather shoes.
The kids used sunscreen ,varying SPF's of 15 to 100.

I overheard my spouse tell someone "Getting a tan is the only way "we" can look better."
(what ,you have a geriatric mouse in your pocket?)
I like the way he included ME in that statement.


Things said repeatedly:

Who’s watching Soulkid?

I’m NOT buying beer.

I think I have a priapism.

Don’t worry, there’s an EMT on board.

He’s your favorite.

Slow down!

Don’t do back flips.

What is there to eat?

Don’t do stupid shit.

Don't let the cats out!

Whose wet shorts are all over the bathroom?


Things never said:

Please, I insist, let ME do the dishes.

Let ME pay for that.

I would love to do some laundry now.


Games played:



Battle of the sexes


Nights we stayed up past our bed time:

All of them


Fights we had amongst ourselves:

Zero (that I’m aware of)

There was that one drunken computer debate, but since neither party remembered it, I guess it doesn’t count. I DO have the video though.


Only child girlfriends we probably scarred for life:

One (sorry Mel)


Overprotective girl mothers we scared to death:

One (sorry Soul)


Household problems solved:

One broken ice maker (fixed by Hubby)

One reinstalled toilet (200 bucks to plumber)

One clogged up air conditioner (fixed by hubby)


Hope you all had a great time!

Love Me

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Fun on the lake 2010

Starring Mr.Smocha, Smocha,Beth, Soulkid,Soul,Ian,Logan,Wes,and Melanie with cameo roles by Floozie2 and Lake Farmer

Thursday, July 15, 2010

It's 7:30 and I already need a nap......

My man is home ya'll!

Why didn't it occur to me to give myself a day off before he got here? (slap self in head)

I left 5 hours early for the airport yesterday because I "shop" my way there. I went to Target and Khols. (we don't have them fancy stores here,in my podunk town)

His flight was supposed to arrive at 5:30.I had just barely parked and walked into the airport when he called me"where are you?"

The flight was half an hour early. We have an hour drive back home and what do you suppose the first thing my exhausted,jet lagged husband wants to do?

That's right ...go out on his boat!

One problem,I have been too busy to touch the boat since "girl week" ,so there is hardly any gas in it.

All the gas places are closed by 7 p.m. so we couldn't go far.

He hasn't eaten since noon, been up for 23 hours. We get back from the boat and I hear those dreaded words "What are you fixing me? "

(*ugh* tired old lady here, not used to fixing food at 9 p.m. )

"how about a sandwich?"

"only if it's grilled and some vegetables too."

Of course,my love :(

His cell phone started ringing at 4 A.M. ,those people over there NEVER seem to remember the time difference.

I'm freaking tired!!!


I also got to spend a hundred bucks of my yard sale money on new bathroom rugs.That just doesn't seem right.

THIS is what happened to my old ones the last time I washed them .

So in case you've ever asked yourself "how long do cheap walmart bath rugs last?"

Assuming you wash them occasionally ,the answer is about 5 years. Well ,2, if you like to have a backing on them.


Not sure what our big plan is for today ,but we have 4 days before company starts arriving.
We have hubbys uncle and his girlfriend coming, then my 3 kids, one girlfriend,one daughter in law ,and my sister,her hubby and their daughter .

Right now this house is so clean and uncluttered you could eat off anything but the cat box!I have worked so hard I should be skinny.

I guess cleaning the boat should be a priority.

My husband has not been home since last August. Pity for him, his "honey do" list is quite long.It's not going to be a very restful vacation for him.

I should go wake him up right now and see if he wants to go clean the boat before the heat index gets up to 110 degrees. We're having a heat wave. (again)

I just went and asked him . His reply "I want a couple aspirin."

I take that as a "no" to cleaning the boat.

Well, I guess I'm on my own for the morning.

Have a great day Peeps!

Sunday, July 11, 2010

I feel a shopping spree in my immediate future...

Our yard sale was scheduled for 7 to 1. Floozie1 called at 5 and woke us up ,as Mary Lou and I were both too stupid to figure out how to set my alarm clock.

I went out at 6 to put the signs up and what do I see?
The same crazy black lady(the cat box lady) already parked across the street ,waiting for the gate to open.

The hoards were coming before I had even priced OR unpacked all my stuff.

It was the busiest sale we've ever had.We had 2 lulls the entire day,each lasting all of 5 minutes.

My husband gets home day after tomorrow.(Yikes!) So I have to get my house spring cleaned by then. I did NOT want a bunch of left over yard sale stuff to have to get rid of as well.

So I had this brilliant plan to hold a drawing .The lucky winner could have all my leftover stuff for FREE!They just had to pick it up within 2 days time and take every last crumb of it.

As it turned out, we were so damn busy I never even got to set up my drawing. Only one lady was ever told about the drawing.( because she had come the night before the sale ,she was a coworker of Floozie2.)

She didn't know that though. So my friend Eva (the worlds greatest bullshitter) calls the lady up and says" Hi it's Eva from the yard sale, You WON! You won the drawing!."

That lady showed up not 10 minutes later (with grouchy husband in tow) and took every last bit of my leftover stuff.

Some people really DO have all the luck :)

Amazingly, I only had about 6 boxes of stuff left.

We sold sooo much stuff ,it was unreal.Clothes ,shoes,a doggy life jacket,more junk jewelry and books than I would have ever dreamed,ugly pictures,old bedding,every single purse and boat bag ,every single piece of good home decor ,I even sold the "train your cat to use the toilet " kit I had bought when Cavuto was a baby.

O'Reilly was exhausted by the time we counted our loot.I can't believe he crammed himself into that little tiny box.

We did way better than we had anticipated. Yee haw!

Now, I must get my chores done 'cuz I have the urge to go shopping baby!

Happy Monday Peeps!

P.S. G5, I shall return your ladder today.Thanks!

Friday, July 9, 2010

OMG! Did you see that slut in the pool?

Well today is "down to the wire" day. Tomorrow morning at the crack of dawn is my yard sale. Usually the shoppers errr crackheads start showing up long before we even have the stuff put out or our hair combed .

The last time I had a yard sale ,I put in my ad "early birds will have to clean out my cat box."
The day BEFORE the yard sale ,my doorbell rings .

"Who is it?"

Crazy, geriatric black lady answers "I'm here to clean out your cat box."

She was hoping to scope out the goods a full day early.That's the earliest bird I've ever heard of.

My aunt Mary Lou will be joining me in the fun ,as she usually does. She''ll be arriving this afternoon with her yard sale goods in tow. Floozie2 ,next door,will also be having a sale.
Floozie1 has no crap to sell (because she isn't a packrat OR a compulsive shopper) but she will come hang out with us for the day.


Yesterday Cavuto woke me up at 5 A.M. ,fine I had a ton of work to do anyway. I did all my chores and then ran my errands. I got home and see that NO ONE is in the pool. For weeks it's been like a city swimming pool out there. Everyone has had company, we've had renters up the ying yang and more screeching kids than I personally care to endure. I can't even remember the last time I've been out doors.

I immediately got my swimming garb on ,grabbed my basket containing(cigs,ashtray,glasses,book,phones) got my raft and made a beeline for my empty pool.
Oh the serenity! Lying there on my raft,hearing nothing but birds and the distant sound of nail guns down the street.

I happened to notice that it was 1:00. This is normally my nap time. Pretty soon some old couple comes out to the pool. That was fine. I was half asleep. They were silent. A few times I felt myself jerk like I had almost fallen asleep.Eventually ,I glance at the clock with my blind self and think "hmmm, I've been out here an hour,better go in. "

I get in the house and when I see the clock on the stove it doesn't say 2:00 ,it says 4:00 . Holy crap ! I was out there for 3 hours! Apparently sleeping. I just hope I wasn't laying there with my legs all spread apart or something. Needless to say ,I am burnt to a crisp.


As you can see ,me and my sunburn better get busy.

Have a great day ya'll!

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Spacious flat,my ass.....

I have spent the last few days desperately searching for a new house over in England. By new ,I mean one that is

A. not out in the middle of nowhere
B. One that is not an absolute cracker box
C. not totally lacking a closet

Is it so much to ask that a living room be big enough to hold a couch,without the couch having to be at some weird angle?

Apparently ,yes,it is too much to ask. Why are the houses over there so damn dinky??

In one ad I saw, they were actually bragging "This flat is over 800 square feet!"

I'm sorry, what? I think my living room is 800 square feet here at home.

Seriously,what is this living room about 8 feet wide?

(note the dining room table right behind the couch)

When the dining room table must be crammed right by the couch this is called an "open plan lounge"

What if I need end tables?

That little square of wood, yes folks that IS the living room.

A personal favorite.or NOT!

This kitchen right in the same room would make me feel like I was living in a motel room.

A spacious bedroom. Also known as a "single"
That's the whole thing.Oh and no closet. Where would you put your clothes?

Now we're cooking. This is known as a "double"

It boggles my mind that there are entire families living in this amount of space.

Pardon me now while I go scream my frustrated head off.

Happy Tuesday Peeps!

Sunday, July 4, 2010


this is my very first time on the BRENDA PHOTO post.

The theme is Freedom.

I may have gone a little hog wild...

but in some way ,all of these pictures represent freedom to me.

Check it out !

AFTER you look at MY version of freedom :)

Blogger won't let me move my words.ack!

Only one of these pics was taken outside of the USA. Can you guess which one?

God Bless America babies!

We are so lucky.

Happy independence day peeps!

Luv me