Monday, July 20, 2009

Is that a 12 pound mouse in your pocket?

This is how a crazy cat lady being a crazy cat girl.

We had 2 of these Siamese cats when I was about 5 or 6 years old. Charlie Wong and Suzi Wong.

One time I woke up at the crack of dawn and Suzi was having kittens right there in my bed. (cat midwife from WAYYY back)

We had these cats around the time that my parents split up. At the time we lived in puerto Rico.

My mom and us kids flew from there to Arkansas. We brought the cats of course. Did my mom buy the cats a plane ticket?

Heck no, that would be too normal.

What do you imagine she did? Go on guess for a minute.......I'll wait.

Ok, what she did was drug the cats with some phenobarbital and put them in a bag like this.

She cut a few air holes near the bottom of the bag.

And then she gave the bag of drugged cats to yours truly..

Even at 5, I must have been socially phobic because I did not want people looking at me. Well, there I am hauling around my bag of dead weight cats ,everyone is looking at me, staring and laughing.

I finally look down and see that the cats tails are hanging out of the air holes. Everyone knows I am smuggling cats.

(like it was the idea of a 5 year old)

If I had gotten caught, my mom probably would have said "I never saw that kid in my life!"

5 year old cat smuggler arrested at at 11.

Leaving your kid holding the bag......not cool people. Not cool.


My man gets home tomorrow! WOO HOO!!! I have not seen him since frekin' January.

Speaking of which.....we have still not totally paid off the expense of the "quarantine fiasco" and now we get to add more to it, like Cavutos $750.00 plane ticket.It makes me SICK!!!
Too bad there's no one I can sue.Gah!

Hey, how come they don't have round trip tickets for cats? That's crap.

Self, don't even go there.

So, anyhow.....I have been busy cleaning and getting the house in order. I always like to start out fresh so he(hubby) can mess it all up from scratch.

(love you Honey :))

Back to work.

Have a great hump day Peeps!

Friday, July 17, 2009

Ode to my oldest.....

29 years ago today, was one of the scariest ,most painful days of my young life.

It was also the first day I ever really knew what love was.

It was the day I gave birth to my first son,Wes.
A squalling little thing ,covered in white fuzz.

My parenting skills were absolutely zero,zilch,nada. I knew nuthin' 'bout birthin' no babies. Much less how to raise one.

(Aunt Soul and Wes)

When he cried ,I cried too because I didn't know what else to do.

He was the smartest,funniest ,cutest baby ever born.

We literally had to grow up together. He was my experimental baby . Everything I did was probably wrong.

He refused to sleep. I had to pin him down in the crack of the couch at nap time and he would scream himself to sleep ,in a boiling stubborn rage.

At bed time he made me sing, tell stories and hold his eyes shut for him. Sometimes for hours!

He could throw a tantrum like nobodies business .

It soon became apparent that he was kind of a little genius. Also the only lefty in our family.

This was right before he started wailing and punched Santa right in the face.

Wes had a big thing about beauty. If his babysitters were not pretty ,he would be awful to them.

He once spit on a nun when he was 3 , because "she looked like a man."

He was a great big brother. He waited until the babies could sit up on their own before he started beating them up.

By age 3 ,he was quite the talented artist as well. His preferred medium was permanent black markers.He would draw these drawings on the wall ,sign his name and then try to say the baby did it.

Once when he was in kindergarten the bus dropped him off before I got home .

I found him at a neighbors ,eating Oreos. She said he was running down the hill ,crying and screaming "No mommy! No!"

He had a photographic memory and knew every word on his records at 3 years old.Like the "101 Dalmatians" and "the aristocats".

Wes continued to dazzle everyone with his brilliance.
He taught me to play chess when he was 6 years old.

When he started school his teachers LOVED him. His kindergarten teacher said "why can't they all be just like him."

Look at that angelic face. Smart and stubborn doesn't always equal angelic.

He once locked his brothers out on the roof of the house while I was at work. His excuse....."I was trying to teach them not to go out there."

When we first got a computer I got an $800.00 phone bill because he had spent hours and hours downloading songs by Curt Cobain.

He had the teenage angst like all teenagers do ,but he never took it out on his mom.He was always sweet to his momma.

He used to make me coffee every morning and bring it to me ,just so he could spend time talking to me before he left for school.

Letting him grow up and leave me was one of the hardest things I've ever done.

He once got robbed at gunpoint during his first years on his own .He did not even tell me about it until much later because he knew I would totally flip out.

In spite of his teenage mother ,he has grown up to be an awesome man.

He's disciplined,(don't know where he got that from) has his own business, great credit,and he's still sweet,smart, funny and cute.

It's always been a joy to be your mom .

Happy Birthday my adorable son! Love Mom

Fuel Multimedia

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Dish soap and Bette Davis eyes............

Hi ya'll ,

When I was waiting for my coffee to brew this morning I had a memory come flooding back to me. When I was a little kid everyone drank their coffee out of those shiny cups (which I now know were called fire king) but the odd thing was they never washed them. They may have rinsed them ,but they all had deep dark stains in them. Anyone remember that?For the life of me, I can not imagine why they would not have washed them.They washed all the other dishes.Anybody know the answer to this old mystery?

It's really rather disgusting. And so was the canned PET milk they used for creamer. Or how 'bout some yummy old powdered milk? Bleah! Just the thought makes me cringe. My mother used to always try and give us that nasty sh*t.


It's started already. My nerves are shot. I am terrified that something will go wrong again when I return to England.

Which was supposed to be Aug. 17th.
Well, naturally ,when we got my ticket back in January......we didn't think to check what day of the week that was. Turns out it is a Monday. Meaning there are no Vets open on the Sunday before to do Cavuto's (unneeded) tick and tapeworm treatment,which Englnad requires.

After much calling around and begging, and offering to bribe someone to come in on a Sunday we finally gave up and had to change my damn
ticket. (Now I will be waiting 8 days longer to have my nervous breakdown.)

Oh and that will only cost us $300 smackers.

.....Insert stream of cuss words here......


The other night I did a photo shoot for my friend Eva. For the cover of the book she is writing. It's her memoir about her dysfunctional life. It's turning out to be quite a hilarious book.

Anyhow, the idea was to be like a dark haired Marilyn Monroe kind of vibe ,in the "Seven year itch " picture.

First of all ,I had no idea what women had to go through to get all glammed up like that.

We had to do makeup like you wouldn't believe. False eyelashes ..the whole bit. And the hairdo's . Thank God we don't all have to go through THAT every day.

We had a good time taking tons of pictures ,while happy houring.

I kept seeing Bette Davis.

(an extremely rough draft of a picture)

Naturally, my photo program is screwing up when I need it. So, I can't show you any of the actual pictures . Gah!


My latest thrift store find.

This copper(?) planter for 8 bucks.

Cavuto was thrilled with it. It was no easy task for him to cram his huge self in there either :)

We should all be so easily entertained.

Happy humpday peeps!

Luv me

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Snippets of Saturday

Large and in charge....and in the way.

Caught mid nail chew.

"Hey! wait for me!"

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

No really, get OUT of my pool.....

Crikey! I just climbed out from under my rock and realised I have not updated this since the Clintons were in the Whitehouse... You would not believe how hard it is being waited on hand and foot and generally lounging around. I prostrate myself in sorrow and beg thy forgiveness..

I am absolutely consumed with my tan, being distracted by the shiny, just generally being a terrible burden to anyone unfortunate to cross my path, my day is full to overflowing from the light through yonder window breaks til I run out of alcohol. I am convinced that I absolutely deserve this after all my hard work. I wish you could be here to share it.

I will try to remember I promised you I will make more of an effort to blog more often until the nice men in the white coats come back. Seriously! This is for my ever faithful, devoted public..

Ha ha . No I have not really flipped my lid. This post was made by the "Lazy bloggers post generator"


I've been trying to write a post for days with out much success. There's absolutely nothing going on around here.

I know , how 'bout I bitch about some stuff that's making me mad ?

First up.....every time I want to get in my pool it looks like THIS!

I hate you people ! Get out of my damn pool! This is not a hotel. You don't live here. GET OUT!!

Nearly a dollar a roll for toilet paper???

WTH? Is there some paper shortage I am unaware of?

The disgusting pigs that snuck in through our gates and had "" in our hot tub.

Who raised you people?

My friend Floozie 2 is the pool police. She actually stormed out there to confront these assholes and they did NOT even stop screwing!

Then had the gall to ask HER "why you disrespecting us?"

YOU trespassed and were bumpin' uglies where YOU don't belong and SHE'S disrespecting YOU? Go back to whatever ghetto you crawled out of!

Fat. WHY do you stalk me?

Why do I starve and you continue to stick to me like glue?

I HATE you!!

Yes, they do . It's the news coverage that never dies.

ENOUGH already!

It's roasting.

Does this mean August is going to be 150 degrees?

What's making YOU mad? Let's hear it?


Last but not least .......a little stroll down memory lane.

(I was seeing how my photo program was at restoring old pictures. Not bad. The color is much improved.)

A 15 year old Smocha. Yes, I thought I was obese.

Is that disgusted exasperation on Dad's face? LOL

Zen kids.

Easter dorks.

Smocha and Soul, about 6 and 2.

Black eye Soul and nerd Smocha. About 7 and 11 ,maybe.

We was Po' and ALWAYS had lousy butchered haircuts.

I remember that Crissy doll.

Have a great Friday peeps!

Luv me