No really, get OUT of my pool.....

Crikey! I just climbed out from under my rock and realised I have not updated this since the Clintons were in the Whitehouse... You would not believe how hard it is being waited on hand and foot and generally lounging around. I prostrate myself in sorrow and beg thy forgiveness..


I am absolutely consumed with my tan, being distracted by the shiny, just generally being a terrible burden to anyone unfortunate to cross my path, my day is full to overflowing from the light through yonder window breaks til I run out of alcohol. I am convinced that I absolutely deserve this after all my hard work. I wish you could be here to share it.


I will try to remember I promised you I will make more of an effort to blog more often until the nice men in the white coats come back. Seriously! This is for my ever faithful, devoted public..


Ha ha . No I have not really flipped my lid. This post was made by the "Lazy bloggers post generator"

Really, go check it out.

http://www.aussiebloggers.com.au/blogpost.html


*****************************************************************************************************************************

I've been trying to write a post for days with out much success. There's absolutely nothing going on around here.


I know , how 'bout I bitch about some stuff that's making me mad ?



First up.....every time I want to get in my pool it looks like THIS!

I hate you people ! Get out of my damn pool! This is not a hotel. You don't live here. GET OUT!!










Nearly a dollar a roll for toilet paper???

WTH? Is there some paper shortage I am unaware of?








The disgusting pigs that snuck in through our gates and had sex in our hot tub.

Who raised you people?

My friend Floozie 2 is the pool police. She actually stormed out there to confront these assholes and they did NOT even stop screwing!

Then had the gall to ask HER "why you disrespecting us?"


YOU trespassed and were bumpin' uglies where YOU don't belong and SHE'S disrespecting YOU? Go back to whatever ghetto you crawled out of!






Fat. WHY do you stalk me?

Why do I starve and you continue to stick to me like glue?

I HATE you!!














Yes, they do . It's the news coverage that never dies.


ENOUGH already!















It's roasting.


Does this mean August is going to be 150 degrees?








What's making YOU mad? Let's hear it?

*******************************************************************************

Last but not least .......a little stroll down memory lane.

(I was seeing how my photo program was at restoring old pictures. Not bad. The color is much improved.)









A 15 year old Smocha. Yes, I thought I was obese.


Is that disgusted exasperation on Dad's face? LOL














Zen kids.
















Easter dorks.

Smocha and Soul, about 6 and 2.


















Black eye Soul and nerd Smocha. About 7 and 11 ,maybe.
















We was Po' and ALWAYS had lousy butchered haircuts.

I remember that Crissy doll.






Have a great Friday peeps!

Luv me

Patriotic Cavuto

says
"update your blogs people!"



















"You've forced my mom to do this stupid meme"

Three things

A bunch of questions in groups of three.

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE ME:
01 | murderers
02 | bugs
03 | snakes

THREE PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME LAUGH:
01 | Wes
02 | Ian
03 | Logan

THREE THINGS I LOVE:
01 | cats
02 | taking pictures
03 | reading

THREE THINGS I HATE:
01 | kids misbehaving in public
02 | cruelty
03 | mayonaise

THREE THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND:
01 | the stock market
02 | international politics
03 | men

THREE THINGS ON MY DESK:
01 | camera
02 | speakers
03 | phones

THREE THINGS I'M DOING RIGHT NOW:
01 | this meme
02 | listening to MASH on t.v.
03 | freezing

THREE THINGS I WANTTO DO BEFORE I DIE:
01 | grow old with my husband
02 | see my grandkids grow up
03 | get a second home in Chicago

THREE THINGS I CAN DO:
01 | dock the boat
02 | cater a dinner party
03 | paint a house

THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY:
01 | shy
02 | extroverted(if you know me well)
03 | wacky

THREE THINGS I CAN'T DO:
01 | sew
02 | type
03 | wakeboard

THREE THINGS ITHINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO:
01 | Nickelback
02 | Hanson
03 | my advice (bwa ha ha ) I kid.

THREE THINGS I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO EVER:
01 | kids misbehaving in public
02 | mean people
03 | fortune tellers

THREE OF MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE FOODS:
01 | curry
02 | mexican food
03 | lightly breaded cod and baby brussel sprouts

THREE THINGS I'D LIKE TO LEARN:
01 | spanish
02 | belly dancing
03 | to love working out

THREE BEVERAGES I DRINK REGULARLY:
01 | diet coke
02 | coffee
03 | diet coke and vodka

THREE SHOWS I WATCHED WHEN I WAS A KID:
01 | speed racer
02 | star trek
03 | batman

Consider yourselves tagged :)

4th of July ,here in Paradise

Happy belated 4th of July Peeps!

Hope you all had a wonderful day here in the land of the free and the brave.

I did. I took the boat out early ,around 10 A.M.

The lake was not too busy yet so the choice spots were still ready for the pickin'.

Floozie 2,LakeFarmer and Floozie2's brother ,Fordman and his wife Princess all came out on their boat and tied up with me.

Pretty soon, it became obvious that even with 3 anchors down, the wind would not allow us to keep from drifting right into everyone else's boats.

After moving several times we decided to leave Old Fogey cove and try for calmer waters over in Skinny dip cove.





That cove was so packed I don't think 2 more boats could have even fit in there.








We wound up going to a very small unknown cove and quickly began drifting right into some peoples dock. The people (who happened to be lying on their dock) were none too happy with us. We could tell by the evil death glances they were shooting in our direction.

Our boats were already tied together when Lakefarmer tried a desperate measure.....pulling straight toward the shore and tying up to trees.
I pictured the front of our boat crashing right into the tree or the shore. (they have no brakes on them boats! :)

So I got on the front and tried to lasso the tree in time to slow the boat down. Well...naturally I fall right off the front of the boat ,into the water right onto slimy rocks. The water was about 10 inches deep and then immediately dropped off to deep water .Lovely. After scraping my leg to shreds on slimy rocks, I was able to get the rope around my tree and tie it up though a bunch of weeds ,which I was hoping was not poison ivy.(so far so good)

Well, lucky for us the plan worked like a charm. We were able to stay put for the rest of the day.

Having to pull up anchors ,ropes, rafts and coolers to move every 5 minutes can really suck the fun out of boating.

We had a lovely rest of the afternoon roasting ourselves to a sunburned crisp.Ok, and maybe a little drinking :)

I asked ,invited.....BEGGED Floozie 2 "If you guys go out to dinner will you PLEASE take me?"

They did go and they did take me.
We went to the Barb-Q place where Floozie2's daughter Conehead works. Man was it yummy. The prefect 4th of July, meal with none of the work.














Trust me, fireing up the grill and bar-b-q-ing for ONE is not fun

.Calories don't count on holidays, right?

After dinner we took a drive up to West mountain and saw the view of our town from way up in the sky. It was pretty cool until we saw a possible drug deal goin' down and cut our visit short. We skeedaddled out of there. Thanks for letting me tag along y'all!

The fireworks were supposed to be done out on the lake tonight ,not last night. From the sound of it ,I won't be surprised if it was actually last night and I missed them.I had also missed my nap. So by 9 p.m. I could no longer keep my eyes open. I went to bed to the extremely loud sounds of fireworks. They could have been right in my own yard and I would have been too tired to go outside and watch them.

*******************************************************************************

Figaro D. Stringpoo

2009-2009

It is with great shock and sorrow that I must tell you Figaro was found DIB (dead in bowl) this morning.

I managed to keep him alive longer than any fish (or plant ) in my lifetime.

Cavuto and I loved you as much as anyone could love a 28 cent fish.Good bye Figaro. We will miss you our shiny little friend.

Crazy ,even without the cat....

Hi ya Peeps!







This is a picture of an actual drawer in my kitchen.Do you know what is in it?


That is 5 years worth of Chinese mustard and soy sauce and a few fortune cookies from the Chinese delivery.


I cleaned it out today and man, was it hard to throw that stuff away.




Any sane person is probably asking "why in the hell would you save it in the first place? and why was it hard to get rid of it?"

Believe me, I asked myself those questions too.







Did I think we were going to have a famine and we'd have nothing to eat but soy sauce and hot mustard? Or maybe if we became poor that stuff could really spice up some spam and top ramen?






(not our actual trailer)











I finally had to face the fact that because we grew up po' , somewhere in the back of my mind ,I was actually afraid there would come a day when I would need some soy sauce or hot mustard and not be able to get it.










(IS actually us. Soul and me.
She's the cute blonde baby.
I'm the homely brunette)





Then I had to FORCE myself to throw that shit away! And face the fact that I am a pack- rat. There.....I said it! At least I understand it now. Next project ...my 100 pair shoe collection.




Now watch, tomorrow there will probably be a shortage of soy sauce and hot mustard.


ARE YOU A PACK RAT?

http://www.hgtv.ca/entertaining/quizzes/quiz.aspx?quizid=111

Go take the quiz, I'll wait.


Here's MY results. They got me dead right :)

Sentimental Storer

You're not just packing things in preparation of hibernation - you are downright scared of throwing things out. You keep anything and everything. Whether you cling to them for sentimental reasons, or for the fear of not having something when you need it - you need to let go. Go through old papers, clothes and magazines. Ask yourself - when was the last time you used this item? If it's been over a year - toss it. If you are just too attached to the item keep it in a labeled or itemized box, so you can easily find it. Have a garage sale. Consider purchasing filing cabinets and storage items to help keep clutter to a minimum. Freeing yourself of the mess will lighten your life too. You'll have more space and less stress.

***************************************************************************



Ok, ok, ok ......I confess!

I saved a few hot mustards...just in case.



Yes, I know I need drawer liner. It's been on my list for 5 years now.



Luv me

McGuiver?

Wow, do I feel old.


27 years ago today ,guess where I was?














That's right ,I was in the hospital having a darling dimple faced baby.

















He was the 2 year old who would fix someone’s toilet while we were visiting their house.The 5 year old who set fire to a tree.












Once when he was 5 the school bus dropped him off before I made it home. I was horrified and worried sick. What did I find when I arrived home? He had broken into the house and was sitting at the table ,calmly eating cereal.














He could open a motel door with a credit card by age 6.









He’s the kid who blew up the backyard with a lighter and hairspray.(we all hid behind the couch in the dark ,when the fire department came)



















He’s the kid who cut his fingertips off with a meat cleaver. But….he’s also the one who taught himself to sew at 15,and can reupholster a car ,made his girlfriends prom dress once and just taped up the flowers for his brothers wedding and made a train out of a lawn mower.






He does back flips while wake boarding .

He's been making mom a nervous wreck since 1982.

He still makes things and amazes everyone with his creativity.


Check it out: (click on the words)

Crafty Slackers











Happy birthday my adorable boy!



Love mom

Yes, life really CAN be this exciting!

I spent all day spring cleaning my bathrooms.


Cavuto can attest to that.


Unfortunately, that was my entire day.



When one has their children at a young age.....apparently they become an eccentric crazy cat lady ...while waiting for grandchildren.










"I'm tired."











"Let me sleep before I rip your eyes out."












"I SAID I was tired!!"
















Wow! spiffy!
















"That toilet looks magnificent!"















"This rug smells fresh as a daisy!"

















"These corners and baseboards pass my silver paw inspection. You rock !! You should be a grandma!!!"


Note to self: Never in my wildest childhood dreams did I ever think I would be dying to be a grandma at 46 years old. WTF???















"Whew! Thank the Lord, I can't see my naked self in those mirrors!"








************************************************************************


Oh yeah and then there's THIS:

333 Posts, last published on Jun 27, 2009 –

It's my 333'rd post!

Who ever comments first gets a book!


Love me


P.s.

Cavuto is in the bathroom trying to kill a brown centipede "NOT capable of killing a human being" According to Google. Lovely.

No more brown hair......ever!!!!!!