Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Road trip fun with Skatzi

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Happy humpday Peeps,

Well, my Visa crap is once again on it's way to the British Consulate. Please say a little prayer that I didn't screw anything up this time.


Now that some of the rage has subsided , I can speak about Memphis.


SOUL: said...

makes ME wanna cry.
did you go round trip? or spend the night? i don't even know how far it is.
hmmm.


It's about 320 miles . "Did we spend the night? " Ha! You funny me.

I'll get to all that below :)



Anonymous said..

Stupid gubmint. Don't they have ink pads in Arkansas where you could make fingerprints? Good grief. Sounds like you didnt even go see Graceland or Beale Street. Right under that bridge is a little park on Mud Island where they have the Memphis Belle - a WWII B-17 that did 50 missions bombing Germany to bits. You can save all that for the next trip to Memphis. Ha! G5



My husband is of the "wham bam ,thank you mamn " school of travel.
He is in a HURRY. You will NOT stop to see any sights, you will NOT stop to dine in comfort, you will NOT stop to spend the night, you will be lucky if he stops to let you pee.


It's boring ,but it's quick. (We got there in 3 hours!)


I ,after years of this ,know what to expect and plan accordingly.


Here's how it goes. The first couple hours ,he is silent. Except for the occasional burst of road rage, because the guy in front of him is piddling along in the fast lane ,only going 75.
During this time his mind is spinning like a machine, thinking about that latest report he's writing,that next presentation, that next meeting etc...


I am sitting over in my seat, reading a novel.(in this case, the novel sucked but I had to read it anyway) During this time span, I meekly say "I'm gonna have to pee pretty soon. "
This really means "I'm about to explode over here." He will continue on until my back teeth are floating , HE is about to explode or we have to get gas.
If you want a drink or a snack ,you better get it NOW!


The next phase of the trip starts when we get back in the car. This is when his mind has slowed down enough to relax (he he ) a little, with some "full blast " talk radio. I listen to it for a while , while trying to read. Pretty soon I want to stab my own eardrums out . That is when I get into my bag of tricks and get out my CD walkman.I put on some really loud Nickelback, but even though it is turned all the way up , I can still hear Rush Limbaugh blaring in the background.
After about 3 songs I am able to ignore it. Sort of.


Eventually, when my stomach starts growling all the way to my back ......I will ask" I don't suppose you want to eat lunch while we're here?" This is when my husband will look over at me like I have just sprouted 3 heads. "NO!"


About an hour after this OR when we need gas, he will pull into a McDonalds. Only because he wants THEIR coffee. No WAY are we going to a second place for mere food, so we must eat something off the McDonalds menu. I will get myself a nice double cheesburger meal cuz , you know, I'm hungry! He will get himself a baby portion of some chicken nuggets or a fish sandwich. Cuz he's you know, manorexic.Then he will eat some of my fries and gaze upon my double cheesburger and say "I bet there's a million calories in that thing. "
Um...I'm not the one who chose McDonalds.



Next thing you know , the trip is over. Thank God!
Let me know if you want to go with us next time. MMMM K?

Love you! Honey :)

Oh yeah...P.S. Arkansas is the ONLY damn state that does NOT have a biometric center.
How back woodsy. ack!

*****************************************************************************

Any road trip is hell to me.

Today is half of a half day. woo hoo!
I'm about to do my chores and get the hell out of here.

Have a great day Ya'll ! I plan to do the same.

Luv me

5 comments:

Design PR said...

BAHAHAHA!

"just sprouted 3 heads"
Never heard that expression before. Nice.

I think it's spelled scazi :)

I'll go with you next time but only if I can cram myself into a tiny crevice in the back of your truck. Said crevice must also be filled with your lovely cigarette smoke!

Brad said...

Uh, yeah....if we ever go on a trip together, I think I'll ship myself UPS. At least I can pee in the box.

desert dirt diva said...

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm its not letting me comment.....why i ask you..????anyways sounds like you had a very fast rip..i can not believe your husband has not one advetous bone in his body, and i really can't picture him eating at mcdonlds,lol...oh and i can't get the elves thing done i've tried!send me the link .PLEASE.

Smocha said...

Brad , I'm going with you, in the box.

SOUL: said...

the tension oozes all the way over here...ooooh i feel for you!!!