Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Quick, get a BIG plunger...............

Picture it, We're at this huge hotel for some live church function. We do not even have a room ,so we're stuck there waiting ,in various conference rooms with hoards of other people for 2 days.

I am married to my last husband . He showed up right from work and is dirty ,wearing holy pants .
At one point ,I notice that the end of his wing wang is hanging out one of the holes. Oh that's lovely.

In one of the conference rooms ,I find myself somehow in charge of watching other people kids. One is a baby boy who refuses to sleep and keeps puking all over his dressy outfit. The other is a little black girl ,maybe 3 or 4 . Her hair is just little short tufts of cotton , in a few spots on her head.

At one point ,on the second day . I go all the way to the other end of the hotel .go in the bathroom and try to clean my hideous self up. I happen to be wearing enough clothes that I leave some of them behind. Don't ask me why>>> but I decide rather than throw them in the trash, I will flush them down their industrial toilet.

Well, let me tell you, a pair of jeans , socks and a shirt don't flush very well, industrial toilet or not.

As I exit the room , i hear the water of the over flowing toilet start hitting the floor.

I hightail it back to my end of the hotel ...acting all innocent. (what toilet?)

I get back to my "waiting room" and continue taking care of the baby boy. The little girl is gone, her mom must have taken her to eat or something.

Pretty soon , they return. Imagine my HORROR as the little girl starts blabbing ,in front of everyone "why did you overflow that toilet? I seed yer clothes in there."

Church ladies are staring at me , mouths hanging open. I try to grab a tuft of hair on the little girls head to drag her over to me and shut her up!!

No deal...The tufts are too short to grab. ack!!
I am in Hell!!!

Someone gets on a phone and says "we found the toilet lady"
Oh sweet, now I'm going to jail for breaking the toilet.

(in case you don't know, overflowing toilets has been a nightmarish phobia of mine for as long as i can remember)

Then Cavuto mercifully woke me up. :))

If your dreams are any indication of your level of insanity ......I am pretty far gone baby!

Every night is something like this.
No wonder I wake up exhausted.

What do YOU dream about??? Hmmmm???

Happy Tuesday peeps!

I'll be back later after my thrilling day unfolds.


SOUL: said...

that is too funny ! i know-- not to you-- but to me? yup. :))

i so rarely remember my dreams i don't have one to tell about right now-- i'll try to remember one soon... but it's not like it'll mean anything a week or two from now-- but i'll post it or bring it here anyhow-- just cuz.

hope you have a good dAY
can you take your boat out today? wish i could! :((

Anonymous said...

I, too,rarely remember my dreams but compared to yours --- mine are nothing! Off to the doc/later auntie j

Golden To Silver Val said...

Most of my dreams I forget almost as soon as I wake up. The ones that I don't forget ALWAYS go something like this. I'm involved with a REAL HUNK of a man (usually someone I've never seen or met before...which is weird in itself). Just as I'm about to participate in some serious hot sex...I WAKE UP. EVERY SINGLE TIME WITHOUT FAIL. No cats to blame...no dog to blame...no person or noise to blame...I just plain wake up. TALK ABOUT FRUSTRATING. HA...a head doctor would have a field day with me, right? Thank goodness I don't have these kinds of dreams too often.

myomyohi said...

Very intersting....
I don't remember my dreams very often anymore. I'm usually so exhausted mentally & physically that I pass out when I hit the bed, but when I remember them, they usually involve either searching for someone or something, or fighting off something all night...

Anonymous said...

Smocha - I was reading all that and I thought her real life is worse than a bad dream! Then, you said it was a dream. I have somewhat similar dreams - predicament dreams - they are caused by the Lipitor I take. I get into these impossible predicaments - often in a foreign country trying to get to the airport, etc and getting stuck in the mud, etc. I usually wake up at the height of the predicament. G5

simonsays said...

OMG this made me laugh out loud...

Don't you wonder where in the hell this stuff comes from?

Thanks, I really, REALLY needed that!


Mary said...

I've had these wild, wierd dreams. Isn't it a relief to wake up and find you're in your own bed? My repetative bad dream has to do with being naked in an elevator fulled with people- I'm horrified but no one seems to notice.

Anonymous said...

update this!