Monday, September 7, 2009

Why old people shouldn't make crank calls....

Ola peeps,

Yesterday morning I wake up at the crack of dawn,knowing that I have to clean the boat .I had told Eva to get here "early" . Apparently I should have been more specific. I sit here becoming more and more frazzled. She finally calls me at 9 and says "she just got up." AHHHHH!

"I'm going to have to go start without you. " She has no idea what a hot sweaty job it is. The sweat literally pooling in your eye sockets. So I head on out there and I'm already feeling overwhelmed because I'm all alone. Then I try to turn on my cleaning music. Nothing. The stereo on the boat would not make a sound. Crap! I started the boat twice ,just to make sure the battery wasn't dead. Nope. I nearly started bawling. I start cleaning in silence,fighting tears, and about 2 hours into the job my helper finally arrives. (she lives out in the sticks)

We finish the boat and then head back to my house to get ready to go out for the last hoorah. (The day before it had rained so I couldn't take the boat out.) I was so hot and exhausted I had to lay on my nice cool tile floor for a while. Then we ate some huge turkey sandwiches and started loading up the boat stuff.

I felt like I was forgetting something. Eva assured me that I wasn't . So we get down to the boat and right before I lowered the lift ,it hits me "crap! I forgot my credit card, we need to go get gas."

Nothing like trudging all the way back to the house on a nice full stomach. UGH!

We get out there, go get gas. My spouse had told me to just get 50 dollars worth of gas. It barely even moved the needle on the gas gauge. What a rip off!
Then I realize that I've also forgotten my camera. Gah!

The lake is so crowded with boats it is like a freeway. My anchors (crappy as they are) are already put away so I just parked us out in what I call "the big water" to just drift and then move the boat when we get to close to something/someone.After a little while we realize that the sun is scorching hot and sitting there is killing us but the water is too cold to get in and stay in. Sweet.

So we're sitting there roasting and drinking our cocktails and we get the brilliant idea to make crank phone calls.

When my sister and I were little ,we would do this often. One of our usual's was "Hi, this is Mary with the hairy Pee pee ,do you have a kotex I could borrow?"
(what can I say, we were little kids!)

Our first victim was one of my sons. Eva calls him ,on her phone and says in a real soft voice "Hi this is Mary with the hairy pee pee ,I just got off work and I'm sooo exhausted."

My son, surprisingly is a total dud. He doesn't play along at all on our hilarity.He even hangs up on her.

On to my next son.....repeat performance. We're totally cracking up and he is also a dud !This one, I eventually speak to and admit that it's us and he says"what ,are you guys drunk?"

I thought my kids were fun .WTH?

Anyhow , we finally reach a few people that she knows who play along with our juvenile hi-jinks and we had a blast being kids again.

Once we got back we still had the joyous task of putting the covers on the boat.

Done! Woo hoo!!

Imagine my horror when my cell phone rings and it is one of the cranks that we called .He is seriously worried about "Mary"
I had to try and explain to him that Mary is my crackhead daughter, I'm so sorry she bothered you. "

(he was someone we couldn't confess to that it was Eva behind it)

All's well that ends well :) Yikes.

Today is a fun filled day of carpet shampooing ,yee haw!

Have a great holiday!

luv me


SOUL: said...

oh gawd... ever heard of caller ID? you weirdo.
at least my own kid knows how to do her crank calls "private" so she doesn't get called back. :))

not sure how she does it.. but try that next time--- surely your kids KNEW eva was calling you CRACKHEAD.

anyhoo--- you almost cried cuz your radio wouldn't work? hmmm... if not a dead battery, did you consider a loose wire-- or maybe a burnt fuse? did you check for either? oh well. too late now. i bet it isn't major tho. fuse or a foot caught the wire.

anyhoo-- speakin of boats soulman just paged me to go look at his handy work on ours-- i do believe he fixed it--- yippee-

happy monday

Creative Problem Solver said...

Ahem! I was in the middle of a video game when she called! haha

desert dirt diva said...

that is tooooooo friggin funny and i thought your oldest would be the most creative in his response......I would help you if i could... miss you

Anonymous said...

At least you rewarded your drudgery by taking the boat out. Next time you make some calls, just say to them, "I am looking for Mike Hunt, is Mike Hunt down there?" and say it fast. You will get a long pause every time. G5
PS Boat radios have all those little buttons, but only one is the 'on' button and make sure the volume is turned up or you will never know it is on. Jes sayin'.

Jamie said...

How fun that you got to be 12 again..yes, I would think that caller ID would make the whole prank phone calls less that it used to be...

I know you have a busy week ahead. Hang in..


Anonymous said...

wow! You two were very very bad! You should have been spanked alot more when you were children!!!
Audrey : )