Thursday, October 15, 2009

Being able to poo and see are all the rage....

oh joy, what could be crappier than waking up in a foreign country with ONE cigarette and NO car? Oh believe me...there are even crappier things :)

Such as......

WHY ,WHY ,WHY???did I only bring ONE pair of glasses?

Picture it, Fareham, the library.

I'm standing there ,hurriedly looking for decent books when all of a sudden my glasses fall right off my face onto the floor.

When I blurrily look down onto the library carpet I see the glasses in one spot and one of the arms of the glasses was half way accross the room.

Oh I'm frekin' blind! I scotch taped them together and have spent HOURS on the Internet looking for new ones...but noooooo ! All they have are those little ,skinny old lady "half" glasses.

I REFUSE to wear that shit!!!

I refuse to look THAT old!!

And then there's this one......(note TMI coming ,you may want to skip this part)

Some of you know this, most probably don't but..hey we're all adults here....I have a paralyzed colon. (Don't know why or how and naturally the doctors never did anything to correct it)

I can literally go weeks without pooping. Not pleasant, let me tell you.

Well, about 2 years ago I once took some Alli to try and lose a few pounds......and what miracle should occur? I didn't lose any weight, but I was suddenly able to go potty like a normal person! Woo hoo!!

Well ,before I came to England I read that Alli was now available here. great, I'm all good.

Not! Picture it...Fareham, the Boots pharmacy,a few days ago.....I stand in the line forever ....I finally get up to the counter and say "I'd like some Alli"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I haven't been trained to sell that, she'll have to help you"
Points at clerk next to her.

I get over to HER line and then I am told that I am "not allowed to buy Alli because I am not fat enough"

Lovely. I guess I don't need to tell anyone who hasn't gone potty in 2 weeks now, do I?

Yeah, so I'm tired, ugly ,blind and full of crap.

What's new with you?


The few thrift store finds I've made........

cat statue

cat carving

flesh eating flower and candle holder

hideous lamp (they're ALL hideous) like this

When my spouse first came here he bought ONE curtain panel for each window. WHY?WHY? WHY? would he do it? I don't know.

But trust me, it is butt ugly!

ahhhh...a complete set of ugly curtains :)
from the thrift store


My son started a blog with his 2 room mates where they all bitch about each other. It's pretty hilarious.

This link is to the first post , just click on newer post to keep reading. (at the bottom of each post ,you will see which room mate wrote it)


Also...speaking of that son and those room mates....they'll be looking for a new one soon. Out in Jacksonville Florida......tell your non crazy kids or friends.

Wesley Black If anybody is going to be looking for a new home February 1st, please let me know. We will have a spot opening up. Contact me for details.

Our house is spacious, we have a fenced in back yard, dishwasher, garage and hot tub.

Requirements are pretty basic: must be gainfully employed, must not be hopelessly addicted to any drugs, must not have thieving or vandalizing tendencies, must be willing to either lock yourself in your room at all times or do you part in keeping the house clean.

We are located near NAS Jax. 2 minutes from I-295. ...

1/3 of the rent is $400 - Plus 1/3 of the electric and cable.

Let me know if you or somebody you know may be interested.


And lastly...... prepare yourself..cuz this is ugly..... the whites of a cats eye are something that is never meant to be seen.

This is Monkey after Cavuto came NEAR her :(


Wesley said...

What an evil hag. She reminds me of Kim's cat. He's like that when insano goes near him. Then, naturally insano's all like "oh yeah? well I'll give you a reason to bitch!"

Jamie said...

This is what my Meisha is acting like with new-unamed kitty in the house...she's black too, not that it makes a difference, but it does make them look meaner!

Yes, I have the same deal with alli, it is wonderful for the problem you mentioned. I don't know what I would do without it - I can send you some!

Feel better, I hope things improve...

Hugs, friend. :)

Anonymous said...

Poor Monkey! First oReilly, now you Doesn't it make you feel good to be told 'not fat' ? My arthritis doctor tells me that! How did you get laDonna/baby pictures? aj

Anonymous said...

Great job on the curtain and the lamp looks nice! I like it. The vid of Monkey is kinda scary. I think Monkey is ill. Cats act like that when they're real sick and feel totally miserable. I think you need to take him to the vet. His eyes don't like right at all. He is in serious shape. Do take him soon. G5

SOUL: said...

hate to say it-- but you sound as mean as monkey does :))

Christine said...

You mean you can't just go to the store and buy Alli?? I swear this country is obsessed with health and safety. What is the difference between a person going to Wal-Mart to buy it and a person going to Boots? Nothing except a few miles. Crazy. Maybe you can make an appointment with your GP and he can write you a note or something for it? :)

Nocturnal Queen said...

lol That video made me laugh. I don't think I've ever seen the whites of my cats' eyes.

I have a black cat named Sadie who once made that growling sound at me when I tried to force her to eat. She had been sick from munching on a peace lily while I was about 1000 miles away and when I came back, you could tell she had lost weight. She wasn't much interested in food because apparently the peace lily burns the mouth and throat. (Which I found out after trying to force her to eat.)

So anyway, I would put a piece of cat food in her mouth and then hold her mouth shut because otherwise she would try to spit it out. She would chew on the food and growl at the same time. Made me laugh. I only forced a few pieces into her, hoping it would encourage her to eat. She eventually did start eating.

As evil as she is (though she loves her mommy), I'm surprised she didn't try to scratch or bite me. Maybe she just didn't feel up to it.

BPOTW said...

It's always fun to make news of the everyday things!!