Thursday, February 11, 2010

That's pretty shocking.....

Ola Peeps,

Yesterday I put my chores on hold and forced myself to head off on the bus to Fareham. Good Lord, it was brutally cold out there!

I seriously hope to grow old in some place where it NEVER gets cold.

My spouse was on his way home from Germany but not due until around 8 P.M., If I’d stayed home it would have been one lonnngg day. Oh, I did clean up the cat vomit and made some lemon chicken for dinner. That was the extent of my housewifery du jour.

About an hour before my hubs got home I got a call from my youngest son. His aunt had tracked him down and told him that his “biological father” had had a heart attack. He is alive, last I heard . This would be my childhood husband, Robert.

A little back ground perhaps:

My kids had not seen him since they were around 5, 7 and 9. He owed me 150 grand in child support (still does).

When hubby and I moved to Arkansas about 5 or 6 years ago, Robert just happened to live in the same town. My kids were angry (understandably so) and when they came to see us, were saying things like “let’s go out there and tip over his shack.” “Let’s go kick his ass.” Etc….

I don’t think the younger ones can even remember ever living with him. He was totally irresponsible, worked under the table so he wouldn’t have to pay child support, and never sent the kids a card, no phone calls, nothing. He really was living in some kind of home made shack of a house.

This is how WE would have lived if I had stayed with him. *shudder*

They went out there to see him one day and of course all was forgiven. I knew they would be better people than to take revenge on him. He is more to be pitied and I knew they would realize that as soon as they saw him. On a side note, when they got home from that first visit one of my sons said “Way to pass on the good genes Mom.”

So every year when they come visit us, they spend one day out there seeing him. I am proud of the way they have handled the situation. Holding on to grudges and hatred would have done none of them any good. They have also gotten to know their aunt (Roberts’s sister) and their cousins (her kids). So it’s all good.

…………………….So, back to last night:

When my son called me and said “Robert had a heart attack.” My immediate reaction was “oh great, what does this mean for my kids future health?”

My father died at 65 of colon cancer, my mother at 65 from Alzheimer’s . So their father having a heart attack at 52 , was not taken lightly.

My son also thought of this and said “I may as well start living it up now; I’ll be dead by 60.” We are nothing around here if not sarcastic :)

I was in the middle of cooking dinner when he called and he did not have many details.

I managed to reach Roberts sister on the phone and she said “

Apparently his arm had gone numb and the heart attack actually had started about 10 the night before. He refused to go to the hospital. His boss showed up to get him in the morning and saw how bad off he was. So his girlfriend took him to the E.R..”

They apparently put a stint in and he was unconscious at that point. The sister also told me that “ if any decisions had to be made, she felt that his sons should do it, not some girl he barely knows.”

Hopefully it doesn’t come to that. Being an adult sucks .I’m sure my kids will be able to handle whatever they have to do.

That’s all I know right now. It’s a strange thing. I was married to him for 10 years .We went through a lot of crap together. We were so young and broke. I still have dreams about going back to him. (Not a good thing, lol) sometimes in my dreams the kids are little, sometimes they’re grown. The only consistent thing is Robert is never responsible, gainfully employed or well dressed. (Some things never change)

Please say a little prayer for Robert because 52 is way too young for Potters field.


Jamie said...

I already have. I too, hope he will be okay. No matter their relationship, your sons are too young to have to face the death of a parent.

Hugs. :)

Golden To Silver Val said...

I second Jamie's comment....52 is way too young to die. I'm sure everything will be all right now that he's getting medical care.

Anonymous said...

I third it. My brother Donald fell over dead with a heart attack at the age of 52. Wayyy too young. Wayne died with cancer at 58, then Earlene 65. I'll be 60 this year....shudder..My parents, grand parts and aunts and uncles died in old age but siblings and cousins died 40-s to 60. Hopefully the stint will fix Robert. My 95 yr old neighbor has had several put in the past couple of years - in one day, home the next. aj

Anonymous said...

To you and boys, I pray Robert makes it. Too young for them to loose a parent, no matter what the relationship. I pray, they do not have to make any decisions. Suggest Robert make a living will. -Heidi

Mary said...

I pray that Robert survives his ordeal. Even more I pray that your boys don't have to face the death of their father and all that goes with it.

Smocha said...

Thanks for the comments and the prayers ya'll.

Unfortunately my boys HAVE already been through that once. My second husband (who was like their dad) shot himself in 1994.

We've been through some shit around here. gah!

No news today from anyone yet. Damn this 7 hour time difference.

Vicki said...

Your such a remarkable women all you have been threw with robert and you still ask for prayer....I too wish the boys didn`t have to go threw with this....and am very sorry they have too...
on another note...I will never ever believe tommie shot himself.....but that too was tradgic!.

Anonymous said...

I talked to Robert and bart last night it sounds like they expect him to be fine.

Anonymous said...

who said dat?

BREZZ said...

just forgot what i was gonna say-- but happy that he will be ok.
once i heard yesterday that was talking and had the stint tho- i figured he would be alright.

i spose the boys will be planning their summer soon?

anyhow-- close call.

love me

BREZZ said...

btw-- dad was 64-- just so ya know--
feels good no?

Smocha said...

well, as long as we're setting the record straight...Tommy died in 95.

Neither fact makes me feel any better. :)

Anonymous said...

My father passed of a heart attack at age 70 and my next older brother died of a massive heart attack at age 50. I immediately went to a cardiologist and have received excellent care since then. He watches me like a hawk - which is good. My oldest bro has a pace maker, so I guess it runs in the family. Sounds like Robert will make it with the stent. G5