Saturday, March 14, 2009

Make mine double boring.....with a failure twist

Ola ya'll,

These huge ladies are demonstrating how I
feel lately. Yesterday I was at the library and I literally felt like I could just sink down on the floor and lay there.For days maybe!

What is with me? Depression crash? Bone sucking boredom? Soul killing unhappiness?Stagnating lethargy?Mind numbing misery? A nice cocktail of all of the above, shaken not stirred?

Naturally , it got me thinking ...."what the hell is wrong with you? and what can be done to fix it?"

yeah, that would probably help.

Am I such a creature of habit, that I am manufacturing my own misery? I mean besides the fact that I am separated from my family and my cats, WHY am I so damn miserable?

As I pondered this, I realized that if you looked up "creature of habit" there would be MY picture.

I clean the damn house in the same order. (if I can make myself clean , lately) If I switch the order, it feels all wrong.
It has to be EXACTLY the same order.

I have to listen to the same CD when I go for a walk. I tried to change the CD once on my walk to quarantine.
Everything was out of whack. It ruined the whole experience. My steps were off , I couldn't tell when the walk was nearly over.

I go to the same places day after day. They sucked the FIRST time. They suck every other time too. I eat the same food day after day. Sometimes I will eat canned refried beans and lettuce for 4 or 5 nights in a row.( Bean salad)

The truth seems to be that I am slowly boring myself to death.

How do single people manage to live all alone and NOT do this?I get no joy out of cooking for myself or cleaning the house for myself.I am like June Cleaver without Ward and Wally and the Beave. If you can picture that. What would SHE have done with herself?

I have the tiniest shred of hope that our "boat detailing business" will take off . But really ,I am afraid that it will be a big huge flop and we will not get ONE call EVER. It's that whole curse, Shleprock thing.
When one has had it for decades ,through failure, after failure ,after failure I guess one loses hope in things not turning to shit.

What I really see ,is ME getting some crappy waitress job.

And soon!

The other day I spent the entire day in bed ,thinking I could quit smoking . Ha! Who am I kidding. There is no way that's going to happen right now.Forget that ludicrous idea. Let the self loathing begin:)

We (the neighbors and I) were supposed to have our annual St. Patricks day potluck today. Floozie 2 came over earlier to tell me it was canceled. "Everyone pooped out and didn't want to have it because it's so cold and crappy out."

"Well, I guess that's good because I thought it was NEXT Saturday." Gah!

It IS cold ,windy and crappy out. Which leaves me trapped in here with crazy Cavuto begging to go for his walk in the stroller.

Well, ONE of of is crazy. lol I'll let YOU decide which one.

(I tried covering my insane baby/cat talk with music, but it ruins the whole brutal truth of the video)

So, please.....tell me that you talk to animals like this too. MMMM .....k.

Have a great day peeps! Luv me and Cavuto :)


audrod777 said...

yah, I say leave the music on the video.
You can always come and clean MY house for a change of scenery since you MUST do the same thing everyday (you know clean everyday? ok mebbe not). Im gonna post my new pics from my camera phone of my visit to my moms today. There were a few funnies that happened but since im an "old hag" as Rhetta puts it, Im too tired after being out all day. ok, See ya!

Anonymous said...

OK, Smocha, what you have is S.A.D - Seasonal Affective Disorder. Look it up on Google, it is real. Dank, cold, gloomy overcast weather can make one sad and depressed. Sunshine and warmth are the antidotes. Our son gets it every winter. The cold dank right now is winter's last kick in the teeth. Will be in the 70's and nice and sunny by mid-week. And, appears you have a bit of O.C.B. - obsessive, compulsive behaviour - doing things the zack same way, playing only one music to walk with, etc. Nothing really bad about that until it begins controlling your life - then you will need counseling. My fee for this consultation is $165. but will be free for you since you are a friend. You're welcome. Get yourself down to that cat place and make a request in person for a foster playmate for Cavuto. Another cat in the house will cheer both of you up. They won't answer you email, so go in person. G5

Anonymous said...

The video of Cavuto in the stroller is cute, cute. Nothing wrong about talking to your cat - everybody does it. I used to talk to my dog - every day - but she never said a word back. At least, Cavuto talks back. G5

Nocturnal Queen said...

lol I have three cats and the boy of the bunch is so sweet that I can't help but talk baby talk to him. He's such a Mama's boy, I adore him. :-)

Smocha said...

Aud, It would probably be great to trade houses and clean a fresh house. LOL
Trust me, the music ruined the video.:)

G5 , LOL , thanks for the free consultation. Yeah, I'm sure I have S.A.D. so where the hell is spring already???

Yeah, Cavuto does talk back ,which makes me talk even more and sound even more insane. lol

Noc qun,
We also have 3 cats. Cavuto IS the baby of the bunch. And the only one I talk to in that embarrassing voice.
Funny how they all get nicknames. Cavuto's is "the baby" ,O'reilly's is "Booger" and Mocha's is "Monkey".

Smocha said...

P.S. Noc Qun,

You think you adore them now, just wait until your kids are grown and gone. you ain't seen crazy yet :)))

Dear Liza said...

Nope, you aren't crazy. Not unless we all are...I think we--yes WE are going through some mid life--hormone---pre-monopausal bullshit.

Seriously. Every where I look, people are I have never seen before. But in our age group, this is what it has to be. Nicer weather will help alot. Green grass, trees, being on the lake.

And I would LOVE a crappy waitress paced, no mental stress, cash everyday. If I had legs that I could depend on, you can bet that's what I would be doing.

Hugs, honey. All things will get better.