Well you just KNOW it's going to be an exciting day if you have the following conversation with yourself.
Oh..whoops, let me set the scene first. Picture it ,Boringville,England. Yesterday. It's 11:30 A.M.
My spouse has just left for his flight to Sweden.
Cavuto woke me up at 7. (He's getting brave enough to get on the bed , despite Monkey acting like the exorcist girl) So I am alternating , all morning, doing my downstairs chores, checking my email...upstairs , going back downstairs to smoke ...and becoming a nervous wreck because my spouse is running late (as usual) and is not yet packed , showered ,dressed or anywhere near READY to make his flight on time.
Ok...so it's 11:30 , he has just left ...miraculously....packed and dressed etc.. (despite my nervous breakdown)
also, since I woke up ..the weather has gone to hell in a handbag. It's now rainy, freezing and windy as hell.
self: "well, should we even bother to take a bath and get dressed today?"
(I realized later that I said "we" to myself)
I did in fact take a bath and get dressed . What a waste of time ,energy and clean laundry.
Then I drank several cups of coffee while going up and down the stairs ....checking my email...searching for ways for desperate old ladies to make friends with other desperate old ladies...you know, the usual.
In between that, I was doing chores and smoking cigarettes under the stove vent.
I had told hubby "Something is wrong with the cat box."
it was stuck upside down, where the cats couldn't even use it.
He grudgingly fixed it and then handed me a 500 pound bag of cat poo "feel this! this is why it wouldn't work, it was too heavy."
I didn't know. I thought he had emptied it the day before.
Notice the cats have very little food .
fed the cats.
remembered to start the dishes I had loaded .
Monday, I bought a really cute pair of jeans at the thrift store, when I took them out of the washer they looked like they would fit an 8 year old. Score! they must have been brand new! Fail, they will never fit me now unless I get the waist of an ant.
Despite the let down , I still have to go hang my laundry in the bedroom to dry :(
Hear a hideous screaming noise like a woman is being killed.
Run to see what it is.
Cavuto had dared to get near Monkey.
She went berserk.
He looked totally innocent of any wrongdoing.
Started reading this book.
Not too bad.
Noticed this place was like a freaking iceberg. Tried to figure out how to turn the heater on.
No clue. Just turned it until a green light came on.
All day I have smelled "cat poo" did not know why.
Finally discover that after hubby fixed and emptied 500 pound bag of cat crap he left it sitting right by front door.
sa-weet! Take out trash.
Hear the sounds of hell screeching though the house.
Run down the stairs and see Monkey on the couch with O'reillys jaws clamped around her neck.
Pry O'reilly off of her "you bad boy!"
try to hide her under couch pillow.
A few minutes later , Oreilly is the picture of innocence in the cat stroller.
"Who ,ME ? I would NEVER be an asshole like that."
Spot a flying insect in bathroom ,to my blind eyes it looks like a mosquito.
Automatically I yell "CAVUTO! there's a bug in here!!!!"
Shockingly, Cavuto comes rushing right in there, chomps the alleged bug right into his gullet.
Proving (once again ) he is NOT as dumb as he looks.
Look at dinner options. Not too thrilled.
Decide to eat leftover beans and rice.
Throw them in microwave.
Hear hideous screeching coming from living room.
Rush in there .....
Find both boys tormenting Monkey.
Turn on the nightly NCIS ......it's all that's ever on.
Return to kitchen to finish making dinner.
Notice my nails are all jaggedy .....go search through O'reillys toy box for the only emery board in the house.
errr..what's left of it .
Notice both boys in cat stroller looking Innocent of any wrong doing.
Return to couch with dinner. Move Monkey.
Dine to NCIS.
Do dishes ,clean up kitchen.
Hope to God it's bedtime.
All this excitement is killing me.
There you have it ....... a day in the life of an expat.
Don't be too jealous :)
Have a great day peeps!