Winter brings out my inner hag.....

Well, what happens when someone who already lives cheap, is expected to live even cheaper?


Things get ugly(and so do I). I have not had a haircut in over 6 months. My pants look like I am a rapper wearing a dirty diaper.I feel desperate to get a job, so every penny I spend is not scrutinized and frowned upon.Only , there are no jobs in this town. I tried to make "my own " job, but the lake will not be raised until March 15th. So that is hanging in limbo until then.



Being alone all the time does not motivate me in the least, to do things that need to be done around here.Cold ,crappy weather makes me wish I could sleep until spring arrives .



I realize my "winter loathing " of everything, happens every year but there seems to be no way to stop it.



I know how lucky I am and of course I count my blessings. However ,that does not make my feelings go away.I am well aware of what a horrid bitch I am right now. That is why I have not posted lately. I hate to blog when I'm like this.



I can not believe what a difference O'Reillys not being here has made in my everyday life.Who knew that ONE super active cat was taking up so much of my dreary time?
And of course ,being away from my husband (AGAIN) and my cats over stupid quarantine continues to piss me off.



Here's a part of a post from last February. Same shit , different year :)

Monday, February 18, 2008

I am sick of it I say!!!

Hi y'all ,


Yes, i know I am very behind on updating.
When I started this blog,it was meant to be written in the way that I "normally" think.



Which IS trying to see the humor in the everyday ,mundane things of life.



So ,I really have a hard time posting when I am a negative,angry,annoyed,bored ,depressed,disgusted,evil ,grouchy ,lazy,itchy,hateful,bitter,fat ,intolerant,witch.



It's the damn winter I say!!!



I am going to go ahead and roll with all my rants ...lets just roll with it , shall we:)

*******************************************************************************

Here's the song of the day.....this is a little ditty my sister and I made up a few decades ago.



" I'm in the mood to kill you.....
simply because ..you're near me....

Funny but when you're near meeeee...
I'm in the mood to kill you."



Hit it!y'all.......

**************************************************************************

I am SICK of looking at THIS view.








Sick of dark gray skies, and dead ugly trees.
And extremely sick of 50 mile an hour wind !!!










I am SICK of looking more and more like THIS everyday!!







***********************************************************************************

Nuff' said.

I'll shut up now. MMM K.













































Have a great day , whatever day it is.

Luv me

Disaster in the cabinets.....

Hi ya'll,

Remember a while back ,my friend sent me those California oranges? Well I had 2 of them left but they were gettin' kind of old. They were too yummy to waste so I got the brilliant idea to make an "orange poppy seed cake"
My plan was to make it and freeze it for our next potluck.






This knucklehead eagerly volunteered to be my assistant.


I should have gone and locked his ass in the bed room ...but I already had clean hands and he wasn't ON the counter. He was on the floor. So I stupidly let him stay .

I opened the pantry to get the sugar , he rushed in there to see all the excitement hiding in my pantry.

I opened a lower cupboard to get out my flower and bowls. He rushed in there. Unfortunately he was then able to walk through all of the lower cabinets, doing God knows what.



I finally coax him out of there and shut the door. No harm done ,right? (or was there?)


I make my cake ,which looks just beautiful,BTW.
I get it all wrapped and in the freezer. Go watch some lame t.v. and later on I decide to make my fabulous dinner of brussel sprouts and a tuna sandwich.


What happens?



I open the pantry and a brand new jar of marachino cherries falls out at my feet. The jar didn't break. But it landed upside down on the scale and the lid exploded right off of it.

Cherries and red juice were everywhere.

(this is after I cleaned some of it up)









Thank you Cavuto.








Then I open the lower cabinet to get a microwave bowl and what happens?








My blender comes falling out at my feet, shattering all over the damn kitchen.








Thank you Cavuto!


Lets keep the cats out of the cabinets , shall we?




I case you're dying to try that cake now, here's the recipe: Stolen from recipe zaar

Levana's Orange Poppy Seed Cake Recipe

In my never-ending search for orange zest recipes, I came across this one in Levana Kirschenbaum's new book, Levana's Table. It's the most heavenly version of orange poppy seed cake I've seen so far. My only change to the recipe was to move it from the food processor to the stand mixer.

by Mirj

1¼ hours | 15 min prep

SERVES 14

• 
  

Cake

• 3 cups flour
• 1 tablespoon baking powder
• 1 pinch salt
• 2 tablespoons grated orange zest
• 5 eggs
• 1 1/2 cups sugar
• 1 cup vegetable oil
• 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
• 3/4 cup orange juice
• 3/4 cup poppy seed

Syrup

• 1/4 cup orange juice
• 1/4 cup sugar
• 3 tablespoons margarine

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
2. To make the cake: In a large bowl, mix together the flour, baking powder, salt and orange zest.
3. Set aside.
4. In an electric mixer, combine the eggs and sugar and beat until light and fluffy.
5. Add the oil and vanilla and beat until just combined.
6. Beginning and ending with the dry ingredients, add the flour mixture in thirds, alternating with the 3/4 cup orange juice.
7. Mix slightly after each addition, just to incorporate.
8. Add the poppy seeds and mix to incorporate the seeds into the batter.
9. Pour the batter into a greased 10-inch springform pan. (I used a bundt pan)
   
10. Bake for 1 hour, or until the point of a knife inserted into the center comes out clean.
11. To make the syrup: While the cake is baking, place the syrup ingredients into a small saucepan and heat until thickened, about 3-4 minutes.
12. When the cake is done, immediately unmold it from the springform pan.
13. Prick it all over with a skewer and brush the syrup all over the top and sides of the cake while it is still hot.
14. The cake will absorb all the syrup.
15. Let the cake cool completely before serving.

Bon appetite!

Have a great day peeps!

Slightly funner than watching paint dry.......

Did I miss the rapture?

Ok, seriously.......WHAT do you guys do on the weekends?


Is there some "secret fun " weekend thing that I don't know about?


I know I have asked this question before and nobody answered me. Now .....I'm getting paranoid.


No one emails, no one updates their blogs.


I'm dying to know what you guys DO all weekend!








"I" don't have it.






Wha???

A look inside my flea mind....

Hi Ya'll,



Well nothing like being up at 5 A.m. on a Saturday. NOT!
Thank you Cavuto.





My house is a sty. Remember the closet mess I made last weekend? It's still not cleaned up. I have boxes sitting in the entry way. Piles of clothes still all over my bedroom.Absolutely NO reason why I haven't finished the job ,except it's February and I'm a lazy slug.
What do ya'll do to snap yourselves out of winter apathy?


I guess my plan du jour is to make myself a list. gah.


I was dreaming about an old road trip from hell when Cavuto woke me up this morning.


Picture it...... early 1990's .....My last husband and I were having problems and it was my second attempt at a separation. I load up my Taurus station wagon with 3 kids, my pitbull and her 11 newborn puppies and my pregnant cat.


Naturally , on the way between Washington and my destination ,California the cat gives birth to 6 kittens.


At one point I stopped at a motel for the night. The clerk says" do you have any pets to declare?"


It was such a ludicrous situation, I had a mental cackling attack when she asked me that.


When I was able to stop my insane laughter , I replied "Yes, I have 19 of them, but they'll be staying in the car."


Thank God it was only a dream.....this time. Good times people, good times :)

******************************************************************************

Isn't 46 too young to be senile?

The other night I was watching "Eleventh hour ", great show by the way! Always some weird scientific crisis going on. Anyhow, something during the show made me think of something that I was dying to tell this bloggy friend of mine.
I couldn't do it right in the middle of the show. So I go to email him when the show is over .By the time I write all this background stuff, I have NO clue what it was that I was originally going to tell him.Ack!
And I still don't remember .

This kind of thing happens ALL the time. I have the memory of a flea!
Please tell me I am not the only one like this, at such a young age.

Someday, I'll be at a dinner party or something and the lost information will just pop into my mind.

"Would you like some more brussel sprouts dear? "

And I'll blurt out "It was the maid! In the conservatory with the candlestick!"

******************************************************************************
Figaro....Figaro ...Figaro....my coffee tastes terrible. WHY did I buy this cheap coffee? I need to cut Cavutos nails. I feel fat.I need a haircut. Figaro....Figaro ...Figaro


Have a great Saturday peeps!

Luv me

A stolen meme.....................

Couples meme, stolen from Bitchypoo

(us ,back when we first met)

What are your middle names? I can't tell you that, cuz then I'd have to kill ya'.

How long have you been together? Since 1997 ,I think.

How long did you know each other before you started dating? A few months, online. He lived in Ohio and I lived in Florida. So we had to long distance date.Little did we know we were setting the theme for our entire marriage.

Who asked whom out? He did. But it was more like "Hey, I'm going to fly down there and see you."

How old are each of you? I'm young (ha ha ) 46 and he's old, 55.

Whose siblings do you see the most? Right now, none of them.I guess I saw mine last.

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple? The situation where we live in seperate countries!When we're in the same country it would be the situation where he's totally anal and annoying and I'm not. (ha ha )

Did you go to the same school? No.

Are you from the same home town? Nope - America was MY hometown. His was Columbus ,Oh.

Who is smarter? I'm sure He is ,technically. But I think I am in some areas.

Who is the most sensitive? Bwa ha ha ! It damn sure ain't HIM!That would be ME.

Where do you eat out most as a couple? Wherever we can force Mr. Nitpicky to go. NO buffets, no hot stuff, no chains, etc.. etc....Mostly, where ever we can get to on the boat.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple? I would say Sweden , but we didn't go together...so I guess it would have to be a 3 day drive to and from, Chicago to Harlengen Texas.

Who has the craziest exes? He does!!!! (did)

Who has the worst temper? I do? Maybe we both do, we just show it in different ways. It takes a lot to make me mad, but when I get mad you'll know it. He's more grit his teeth and be quietly hateful.Well, unless he's had a few drinks. :)

Who does the cooking? I do . Unless it's meat cooked on the Big green egg. That's his territory.

Who is the neat-freak? I suppose I am. He can't even lay a spoon down without me cleaning it up.And "I" never leave banana peels in the bathroom:)

Who is more stubborn? He is. I'm easy.he's much better at being an asshole.

Who hogs the bed? He'll say I do. But I blame it on the fact that I have cats all over me.

Who wakes up earlier? I do. I spring out of bed at the crack of dawn. he can lay there like a slug. I don't know how to relax.

Where was your first date? In a motel in Florida? Well, that's where I met him.Then we went to a movie and dinner.

Who is more jealous? That would be ME. He couldn't care less :)

How long did it take to get serious? What? as soon as he laid eyes on me. LOL

Who eats more? Over the whole day, he does. But neither one of us eats very much. He's manorexic.

Who does the laundry? Usually I do. But he has no qualms about doing laundry.

Who’s better with the computer? He is; he thinks I ruin it every time I get near it. He's even been known to anally organize MY damn bookmarks!

Who drives when you are together? He always does. He has no patience for my good safe driving. :)

Ok, steal the meme! Now you have no excuse not to update your blog.

Luv me

How could we possibly be hot? It was the 80's

Hi Ya'll ,


I got nu'thin' . Really. Absolutely nuthin!


So how about a little trip down memory lane? I was looking through pictures trying to find "boat" pictures and I came across these beauties. (ha ha )


First up we have Me, Soul and our mother, down in Mexico.
What were we doing in Mexico? We lived in San Diego and if we drove over to Mexico our mother could buy prescription drugs "over the counter".
























Next up , an 18 year old Smocha just arrived at boot camp.
You can't tell it in the picture, but I was the ONLY one who didn't cut my hair off.
There were about 4 of us with long hair. We had all agreed that we were getting it cut short. I was already in the chair when I chickened out.
Needless to say, I made a few enemies that day.
(oh yeah, they would not let us wear any makeup either) ewww!
And note the ever present cigarette. gah!

























Next we have the Soulmange sisters. That's us on our dads boat.
I forgot how old we were there, in our 20's ...maybe 26 and 22.
My dad made us go to JC Pennys during that visit and have our picture taken.
It turned out hideous!I think Soul had just gotten back from Diego Garcia. This was back when she was "the queen of the navy" :)



















Cavuto woke me up at 5 this morning and let me tell you.....this has been one lonnnng morning.
It's finally late enough for me to get out of here.


Happy humpday Peeps!

Luv me

Do you have a backhoe I can borrow?

Hi ya'll,


Sunday morning I went up in the attic and got my boxes of summer clothes down. and by that , I mean I climb up the scary "ladder stairs" and have to roll the boxes down ,where they crash in a heap at the bottom.



Little did I know what a huge can of worms I was opening.Once I had those clothes.....I now had to drag the entire contents of my closet out ,pack away the really winter-y clothes and sift through all the clothes that are now too big for me.






Which was pretty much everything in my closet.











OMG! What a mess I made.




Two days later ,I am still not done with my little project.







I now have three huge boxes of clothes to get rid of.Gah!

Now I have to have a yard sale:)

If you're in the market for some size 10 bottoms and size large tops, let me know. I'll have an online yard sale.

3 bucks for bottoms, 2 bucks for tops. Most of it is new or like new. And no walmart clothes either!

Seriously, let me know what ya need and I'll tell you if I have it.

*********************************************************************************
Obviously ,since I've been trapped in closet hell for 2 days I have nothing exciting to report.
I haven't even seen another human being.








Cavuto is doing great and looking like his old self again.








Only now, he's quite the lazy slug without his sidekicks.

He'll probably be obese by August.
:)








O'Reilly, doing his bunny in England.




I feel so bad that they have to be separated. He misses Cavuto desperately.















Monkey,caught mid-bitch on one of the new cat shelves.

She does not like England. It's too cold!



Hopefully today will be fun or exciting around here. Figure the odds.


Hope you guys have a great day in your worlds!

Luv me

You romantic devil.... and a P.s.

Hi ya'll,


Late Happy Valentines day ! Yesterday morning when my spouse called me I said "did you get my Valentine card?"


I had scanned it and emailed it to him.


"Yeah, I got it. I didn't get you anything yet."


We are supposed to be living on the CHEAP right now, trying to recover from the quarantine fiasco.So I've been reluctant to bring up the fact that I may need to buy a power washer.(here's my chance)


"Oh, well don't, I may need to get a power washer."


"You don't even have a customer yet." (always the optimist) lol


During the rest of our conversation it comes up (again) how he needs to buy a dresser. Right now he has the bedroom T.V. sitting on a little outdoor table and a toolbox.So he really DOES need a dresser.
Well "I" am thinking CHEAP, used dresser.


My husband does not know the meaning of the word CHEAP.


Later on ,he calls me while I'm at the library.


"I decided to get you a power washer for Valentines day."


"Oh goody!"


"Oh, I got a dresser today too. I got a discount on it. "


This raises my money hackles. "You wouldn't know a discount if you tripped on it."


I did not ask what he paid for the dresser because I'm sure the knowledge would make me nauseous.
I am picturing a solid oak ,7 or 800.00 dresser. He will send me a picture of it later on today.
:)
We'll see if my hunch is right.


So, I will be getting my most romantic Valentine present EVER.





Woo Hoo!





Now when I get a customer.....I will be good to go!



My son has been working on our website and I must say it is looking pretty good so far.

Check it out and tell me what you think. Don't bother clicking on the links yet because they're still empty.


Note that there is a "big" word on there. Tell me if you know what it means. No looking it up!


http://mobilemermaids.com/layout.htm



Floozie1 is picking me up for the bacon buffet ,in her new car this morning. She just bought herself a Toyota Matrix. I had no idea the inside of them was so cute.


I better go get beautiful.


Have a great day peeps!

Luv me

P.s. After I posted that I went and looked at dressers on the UK websites and I saved
THIS picture of the dresser i thought my husband would have bought.







Nice Oak dresser. Right?







Well, he just sent me pictures of the dresser he bought.



Do I know my husband or what?




Ta da!

Hey, is that my MOO MOO?

Ola ya'll,


Well, it's that time of year again. You know when the new spring fashions start showing up in the stores. We get that first glimpse of the hideous crap we are expected to actually pay money to wear.



WHY? Why do they do this to us EVERY year? Am I wrong, or does it just keep getting uglier?



Presenting the spring 09 collection:






"um Honey ,can you carry me everywhere we go, 'cuz I can't possibly walk in my new spring shoes?"













Long skin tight shirts? Seriously, WHO besides a 10 year old could look good in this?












I am speechless, this is so ugly. They found a warehouse of old material from the 70's, is that it?










And this? Would you pay 80 bucks for this?












Yeah," my mom called , she wants her MOO MOO back!"
















"Can I be a stripper who can't walk?"














"Mrs. Brady? Is that you?"















Long shirts with that stupid band on the bottom. Who can that possibly flatter?














UGH! I think this is my old maternity shirt from 1980.

Do women not look and feel fat enough?

WHO would pay money for this??















How 'bout these? You KNOW if they look this crappy on a toothpick they are really gonna look bad on US.
Maybe they should make that baggy waist a little higher.











Oh ....like THIS ! NOT!

Here it is ladies.....that sailor suit you've been missing since you outgrew it ,when you were 6!













I give up. No wonder I dress like a bum.


I'm going up to the attic and get last years ugly clothes and hope to God some of them still fit me.


Have a wonderful day and don't bother going shopping.


Luv me

Lame-o

Hi Ya'll ,


I've been trying to update this thing all day. I've been too busy . Not that I even have anything to update about, either.


I've spent most of the day working on Mobile Merm**ds.


Made a lot of progress too. Website, up and running....awaiting more content. Business cards made and ordered.....check!Logo finally finished and acceptable....check!Business plan and agreement written and signed...check!


Now I just need a nerve pill and a client :)




Better?


Well, that's our logo . so too bad if you don't like it. LOL



I see that hardly anyone has updated today. What were you guys so busy doing?



As usual , there is NOTHING on T.V.
GAH!! that makes me so mad.
BTW, has anyone noticed that they took away "lifetime" and stuck "bravo" on there instead?
Do you know what that means? NO Golden Girls!
Who is responsible for this?? Who do I complain to?



Yesterday it was 75 degrees! I took a book , a blanket and a little pillow and went and hung out on my boat dock for a couple hours. It was heavenly.



To be continued.......I've even boring myself with this crap.
:)

********************************************************************************
Good morning.....

I still "got nuthin'"


So, I'll go ahead and call it a post. Sorry:)

Hope you're having a great Tuesday!

Luv me

Is there a mermaid in the house?

Ola Ya'll,

Yesterday blogger was listing my links like NO ONE had updated for days. Then today ,I see it says "one day ago" WTH?
Some of you did update and blogger lied to me.



I'm supposed to go meet Floozie1 at what we call "the bacon buffet" in a little bit .We do Sunday breakfast there quite often.In spite of that, I just got on the scale and have now lost 17 pounds. WOO HOO!!!
Weird how I still look exactly the same ,when i look in the mirror.



I may as well tell you guys about my new summer business plan. Either we'll be jinxed or we won't be. Figure the odds. LOL






(click on it to see it big)



As you can see, we are having a problem coming up with a decent mermaid. (this is just a rough draft) but I hate her. she's too "little mermaid-ish"














Here's MY great mermaid. lol

Equally hideous ,in her own special way.


If any of you happen to be an artist...could you please send me a mermaid? LOL










I have a fun filled day of cleaning and laundry planned. I had thought that was yesterdays plan but it took me all day to get half of it done. So more of the same today.






Knuklehead on top of the cabinets.

Note the ear sores ,nearly healed.












Ain't I pretty?







He often uses that gourd for a pillow.

(yes, I see that I need to dust that crap)













sweet kittie feet







Have a great Sunday !

Luv me


Update:: Now we're gettin' somewhere. How about this one?

Cat shelves,curses and sunshine in a box.....

Hi Ya'll,


I am working on a new little business . I don't want to jinx it by blabbing "too much" just yet. I'm waiting for my advertising son to work his marketing magic first. Then ,I'll tell ya'll all about it.


I will tell ya' that I'm doing it with my old real Estate partner ,Eva. Is it possible for two people with "the curse" to make money at anything? We shall see. LOL
Yes, SHE also suffers from the "Schleprock curse". So wish us luck, ok!


******************************************************************************


Yesterday I got the sweetest ,most thoughtful surprise.The UPS lady rang my doorbell and left a box from my friend Kim ,out in Californee. I had NO idea what it could possible be.
Inside was a note saying "Enclosed you will find a little California sunshine."





It was a box of humongous oranges,the size of grapefruits!


Thank you Kim! That was awesome of you!
I guarantee you won't see anything like those in MY grocery store right now:)


****************************************************************************




My husband has been building cat shelves ,in high places to keep this knuclkehead from living on the door tops.

The one he is sitting on is at the top of the stairwell. it's cat Heaven!

Every time I see a new picture of him it makes me soooo sad. I can't believe how much I miss him.

Cavuto feels the same way :(


Well, it's after 10 and I'm still sitting here in my jammies. I better get off my laze and get busy.


Have a wonderful day peeps!

TGIF