Call the nut house, she's gonna blow!

Picture it, yesterday morning .....my spouse calls me .It barely looks light out. He was all "Oh did I wake you up?"



Me : thinking it's the crack of dawn "yes, I was trying to finish the dream I was having. But I need to get up any way ,Cavuto goes to the Vet at 9:00."




Him : "Well you have 10 minutes!"




Me : "Nut Uh ,you liar."



He wasn't kidding, it really WAS 10 'til 9.




(insert cuss words)




When I went to find Cavuto to take him to the Vet ,what a delightful surprise it was to find him IN the carrier bag! Bwa ha ha! (he thought he was going to have a nice nap in there) All I had to do was zip the bag closed and we were on our way.




Cavuto screamed his head off for the entire drive .

He was growling and everything by the time we got there.







"Get away from me with that anal probe!"















He had licked his stomach bald again . Apparently the life of being a spoiled rotten cat is very nerve wracking.The poor little thing.


After a steroid shot and a rectal temp. Cavuto decided the truck wasn't so bad after all.



Not a peep out of him on the way home.




******************************************************************

Chewing his nails ....oh the stress of it all!





******************************************************************







My former dinosaur music system .
And by former I mean up until a couple weeks ago.


Oh the humiliation.













Ta da! My new modern day "music thingy"












************************************************************************


As you may recall I am trying to quit doing that thing, which I am not going to talk about .



So suffice it to say, some days have been quite hellish lately.
I can not bring myself to talk on the phone for more than a few seconds. (I'll call you soon ,my children)




Take yesterday morning for example. I woke up and discovered that I had no internet. Then I walked into the living room and remembered that my entire basket of stuff (cell phone, pens, straws, wedding rings) had fallen and spilled inside the couch. I spent an hour moving the heavy ass couch back and forth, trying to find my wedding ring. I was ready to bawl my head off by the time I found it wedged into part of the wooden frame of the couch.




Still no internet. UGH! I was on the verge of meltdown. I tried to put smaller ear bud covers on my "music thingy' ,the rubber tips kept flying off across the room.




I finally got them on and I stormed out into the drizzle for a nice grueling walk. I was so upset over (nothing really) it all, I felt like lying down on the road and just having a screaming kicking tantrum like a 3 year old.



I was literally telling myself "you're just fine. everything is just fine"
(crazy much? )





I did feel better after my walk but there was still no frekin' internet.

By evening time I called the damn cable company all indignant and "well, how dare you people ruin my life like this. I have had NO internet ALL day! What is going on ?"




She shattered my huffiness when she replied "ma am ,your service was turned off for non payment."



(oh great. LOL my spouse forgot to pay the damn bill) She let me pay right then, over the phone and the day was saved. My internet was back about 10 minutes later.




Here's to better days :)


***********************************************************************





"does this carpet make me look fat?"










Happy humpday peeps!



Luv Me

You know you're an idiot when....

Picture it, yesterday my husband is on the phone with me ,from Finland.



Me "I hate to tell you this but the computer died."



Him "Try this ,try this ,try this. "



Me "nope ,still nothing. "




Him "are there any disks in the drives? "




me...checking the cd player. "No ,there's nothing in there."




I can tell he's becoming more and more frustrated by my lack of tech skills. I can feel it through the phone that he wants to throttle me like a chicken.




Eventually ,he makes an appointment with the geek squad to come "diagnose" my computer..on MONDAY.




Ugh. I already feel as if I will die . No smoking AND no internet. Lord help me.








Last night as I walk by the printer I notice that I had left my camera card in the drive thingy. (technical term)



I take it out and restart the computer.



Hellowwwww MORON.




That was the problem all along.






Am I senile? Why, yes ,I think maybe I am.


Gah!



I'm busy packing right now, I shall be back latah!

Happy Thursday!

My computer da' died....

Hi ya'll ,

My computer has died an untimely death. The geek squad can't even come look at it until Monday.


Save me!

Behave while I'm gone. I'll miss you all like crazy :)

That's so sweet

My friend came over today with her 3 kids so they could go swimming . Naturally, a raging thunderstorm hit right before they arrived.






All the kids "Has Cavuto grown? He sure looks taller."



"No he hasn't grown ,they don't call him Daddy long legs for nuthin'."










Cavuto entertains them with his attention hounding until the storm is over.











Meanwhile, O'Reilly has been napping for hours in-spite of people coming into the house.


(at one point I went and checked on him to make sure he was still alive)

Eventaully the storm is over and the kids go swim for a while. After they came back in , 6 year old Sissy says (of the still sleeping O'Reilly)




"Is your other cat mean now?"


"No, he's just acting like a watch dog."


"Will he let me pet him?"


"If you go lay on the bed and just be still for a minute ,then I bet he will."


A little while later (after hearing No sound from the bedroom) this is what I saw.









Sweet babies sleeping.









A beautiful moment out of a crappy week :)




Hope all's well with ya'll!


Luv me

I'm in shoe Heaven...

I got 'em!!!!!!! I got 'em!!!!!!


WOO HOOO !!!! I got my dream shoes!!!



The question is ......whom did I get them from.
My husband and my oldest son both told me I had a package coming from UPS. I don't know who to thank .




Last night these arrived with no packing slip at all.


(Wes, did you get me my shoes? )



I shall wear them today and see if anyone notices them. I'll report back latah'



Luv me

Party like it's 1899.....

Happy Birthday to me.



Yeah. Yesterday was my B-day. I am pushing 50 ya'll.



I was not in the greatest mood but I suppose it really had nothing to do with being "nearly 50"




I'm always kind of bummed for a few weeks after everyone goes home anddd I'm (once again) trying to quit smoking. I don't even want to talk about it this time. I'm not going to count the days or keep track of that crap, none of the usual . This time do it or don't do it. just STFU about it.



(That's all I have to say about that) :)



My friend Floozie2 and a couple of our nice neighbor ladies took me out to lunch .We went for delicious Mexican food. (well as delicious as it can be ,in Arkansas)


Later on I had the urge for birthday cake. Actually ,not so much cake,just the yummy bakery butter cream frosting.I bought myself that tiny cake for one .



I was dissapointed to discover that the damn thing had whip cream frosting.


Note to self: always bring freakin' eyeglasses to grocery store, you blind old bat.


****************************************************

When I go back to England I plan to be better prepared this time.Better prepared to defend myself from the bone chilling cold,that is.



I've been searching for a less bank robber-y looking "bank robber mask" . I was surprised at the balaclavas I found on the internets.







The Beardo.


This is wild, but probably not quite my style .














The gallows mask.


The rope around her neck does make me think "she looks like she's about to be hanged."


















This looks like a very big "maybe" for me. It looks comfortable and not itchy. I wonder if I could find it in a different color.














This is the only other "maybe" ,not in this pattern of course. I'm not too crazy about all the strings either.


Anyone know a knitter out there who could knit up some cute "bank robber" masks?








Well it's shopping day here in depressed old lady land. I'm outa heah' .


Have a great day Peeps!

I have no shoe shame......

When I was 11 years old we had just moved to Hot Springs, I started school at Lakeside middle school. We lived way out in the sticks by Lake Catherine. Our nearest neighbor was a mile away and I was madly in love with his son ,Craig Smith.




All the "cool girls" , including the cheerleaders ,wore these exact saddle shoes.




I wanted some soooo bad ...I thought I would die.



At the time ,my mom was working at Dillards ,downtown ,in the cosmetics department.




Right next door was the shoe store with these "symbols of normalcy" staring out at me every time I walked by.



To make matters worse, the orphanage was right next door to our school.



Imagine my horror when even the orphans had "MY shoes" and I didn't .




I begged my dad to buy me those shoes ,but when he sent us money for a specific thing (like life altering shoes) my mom usually kept (and used it) for whatever.



I finally got a pair of those shoes when I was 12 and by then we had moved to Bakersfield, California. My coveted shoes were not "all the rage " there but I LOVED them and I wore them all the time.




Call me senile, call me eccentric...call me whatever you want .......but I'm about to turn 40 freakin' 8 years old and what do I want ? What do I really ,really want?



(besides a digital SLR camera)




I really want those shoes.



Would I be ashamed to wear them? I really don't think so. I'm going to be in England and Copenhagen.....walking my ass off. I'm going to be skinny and those shoes are just as cute as they ever were.Just the thought of looking at them on my feet makes me happy. Maybe I'll start a new fashion trend.Even if I don't .....they can bite my old dimply ass.
I WANT those shoes.




What do you think?









A sneaker version?


(it's fake leather though)










A dressy version?

May not be walker friendly. (???)











OR the good old original?

What would YOU do?






Yes I DO know I'm weird.....but trust me ....once you get old, it's ok. You could go at any time.
Embrace the happy ...that's what I say! :)






P.s.
If I married you or gave birth to you my dream shoes can be found at Amazon.com

Willits Women's Classic Saddle,White/Black w/ Coral Rubber Sole,8 B
Condition: New
In Stock
Shipped from: Shoebuy

$82.95





OR....My dream camera is also available there:

Nikon D3000 10MP Digital SLR Camera with 18-55mm f/3.5-5.6G & 55-200 AF-S DX VR Nikkor Zoom Lenses - Nikon Condition: New In Stock Shipped from: Beach Camera

$679.95 You Save: $245.05 (26%)

Love me

Summer's ovah'

Me,being hit with brilliant idea "Hey! I wonder if those magic erasers would work to whiten teeth."


My spouse,Mr. Complementary "What for? Then you'd just look like an old person with white teeth."






"I should prefer to be an old person with yellow teeth?"


Well, excuuuuuse me.







*********************************************************



Scenes from the lake .



Click the pics to biggen them :)

















Floozi2 and Lake farmer on the "git her done"


















A beautiful rainbow

















Artsy lake shot















Ahhh serenity



















Blessed shade :)













My summer is officially over. My hubby should be landing back on British soil any second now.

I got back from the airport and walked in here,boy was it quiet and empty feeling.

My house is also beyond a pig sty.It's going to take me a week to put it back in order.









*Clink* Here's to the end of a wonderful summer.








Have a great Tuesday peeps!

The fall fashions are in!

It's that time of year again....................


Last night, sitting in the office, browsing the internet :


Hubby : "Why are you looking at clothes ?"


Me , astounded that he had to ask : "The Fall clothes in England have come out !"



Hubby : "So?"



Me: "I have to take any clothes I want to wear, with me. I'm not wearing that shit!"






Disclaimer: No offense is meant to any one British or the country of England by this post.If you do not have a sense of humor about ugly fashion then you may not want to read any further.



For your viewing pleasure, presenting England's Fall fashion line up.










First up we have the squirrel shirt and the pleated plaid hot pants. Do not forget to wear your tights underneath.















You can give up all your bathroom breaks in these jazzy new Harem pants. These babies will hide your Depends all day LONG.















The stylish new Edith Bunker frock. Nothing screams "sack of potatoes" like this retro floral print. This would be equally stylish with your favorite leggings or pasty white panty hose.





















Another retro vibe here. The pastel mint cropped top and the bold patterned leggings. This little number will accentuate your camel toe like nobodies business.

















The perfect accessory for any outfit. The head band with a mini top hat.You'll feel just like Alice in Wonderland.














Nothing helps with the climb up the corporate ladder like a pair of red, faux suede hooker shoes. Just watch out for those cobblestones on the commute to work.














This darling skintight top is sure to get the heads turning in your direction.












This sweet ensemble says "I feel like I'm in my pajamas" while it looks ...well just like you ARE in your pajamas. The ankle hugging heels really set it apart. Show off those cankles baby!














You'll feel just like you're on an episode of "The Golden Girls" when you step out in these shiny vinyl Blanche Deveraux pumps.

















The diaper hiders errr Harem pants also come in lovely prints.
Remember ,the bigger the print the better.












Unleash your crazy cat lady in this eye popping pussy top.
Knickers are optional since this is tunic length.

Tip: order one size smaller to show off your muffin top to it's full potential.

















Is having no screens on your windows driving you buggy?

When people spot you in this adorable flying pest bib they'll be grabbing the raid or the fly swatter.












Nothing will highlight your "mom gut" like this precious cropped uh..bird top.

Tip: wear it with your favorite jeggings.















Even the dress is crying.

Simply a must have for your fall wardrobe.
















Just imagine the heads falling off when you strut into the office in our new "onion bag" dress. Dress it up for the office with your highest hooker shoes or dress it down with combat boots for a day of shopping or lunch with the girls.

Tip: you would never want knickers to spoil the look of this dress.
















If that was a little too conservative for you...fear not tramp, the "onion bag" dress also comes in the sleeveless version.


















Are you sick of suffering from penis envy?

Your troubles are over! With these sporty new pants everyone will think you are packing your very own boner.

















This fresh top would be adorable with the "penis pants"
remember ladies ,the tighter the better.

The bold stripes....the huge bow? Need I say more?















These quaint little shoes will make them think twice. Is she really a virginal slut? or is it just the shoes?

Tip: Clothing is totally optional with these.Maybe just a headband with a little top hat.














If your everyday sexiness has you feeling tired of all the attention,take a day off and wear this little school marm cardigan.
















You'll feel like a girl again in this body skimming Barbie top.
Equally fashionable with leggings,jeggings or stirrup tights.













Grandmas tablecloth from the war has been given a new lease on life !

Bombs err I mean jaws will drop when they see you in this vintage looking cutie.













If this doesn't show your fashion sense nothing will!
Also comes in maternity sizes. We all know baby bumps are sexay.











Just in case you remembered that Fall in England is freezing you may want one of these .

This stunning fall coat with it's buffalo checks will have you rushing for the nearest pub so you can remove it.

Tip: don't hide the sexy.You've worked too hard to show it off.







If you are moving to the UK, PLEASE take a very large suitcase of wearable clothing with you.
You won't regret it. Trust me.