Thursday, May 14, 2009

Suicide kings are wild.......

Ola peeps,

Well, let me see......what's been going on around here? Oh ..yesterday we had a one day reprieve from this constant rain.The forecast called for 88 degrees of sunny bliss .So I immediately make a mental plan to lay my albino self out in the sun.The wedding is in 3 weeks. I'm ghostly white .

I woke up pretty early so I decided to curl my hair and "practice" a hairdo. (For the wedding.)
Hair up? Hair down? Which would be better with pasty white skin? Don't know yet.
I swelter for half an hour wearing hot rollers.
Up , down, either way my hair looked frekin gorgeous .For about 10 whole minutes.Then, I kid you was straight as a board,hanging there like limp spaghetti.
Perhaps a bag over the head would be the best look.

The other day I bought some hedge clippers at the thrift store for 2 bucks.The hand held ,non electric ones.Because even though we pay to have gardeners,they let hideous pom pass grass grow until it totally blocks the sidewalk.

So I go out there and trim bushes until I have blisters from my new hedge clippers.

I trimmed some unkempt ,scraggly purple bushes too.


THIS is the "tropical landscaping" we were promised. Yeah ,right.

I go run my errands. One of which was my usual, crazy shopping lady meet up.I snagged a mid evil torture, girdle-y thing for 5 bucks. At the rate I am NOT losing weight I'm going to need something girdle-y to fit in my damn dress.
Oh , speaking of my dress, that will be IF I HAVE a dress.

That's right ,the dry cleaners have lost my effin dress.It was supposed to be done Friday. Yesterday, they finally confessed they have "misplaced it" . Sa-weet.Does this surprise me? Um no,no it does not.

But, I digress.....I return from running my errands planning to get my lawn chair out and work on my honkiness.What do I see all over the place? That's right....gardeners everywhere. With noisy blowers,weedwackers and mowers.

Is there a chance in hell that I am going to stuff myself into a bathing suit and layout in front of a bunch of gardeners? Um ,NO, no there is not.

Dejectedly, I go take my nap instead. Later on I discover that the gardeners have trimmed all the purple bushes that I had been trimming earlier. NOW that I have blisters from trying to do it myself.
Did they do it because they took a hint ,when they saw that I had tried to trim them? Or were they planning to do it anyway?


what EV! I have blisters either way. And I have no tan ,no dress,no waist and no hairdo .Agghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!


"What's Cavuto been up to? "

Oh ,funny you should ask.

He's bored and

He's sick to death of rain!

Meanwhile.....out in sunny Florida my grand cat ,Insano, is playing poker.

Have a dry day in your world!

Luv me


Anonymous said...

A friend of mine bought some 'fake tan' at Dillards. You could not tell the difference! Not like the old stuff that turned your hands, elbows, and knees orange! Not cheap but might be worth it for a one time deal. aj

Creative Problem Solver said...

Haha.. grand cat!
Hey, I think it's spelled Medieval (mid evil... bahaha)

I woke up before 7am this morning, beating my alarm clock! I had much enjoyment as I netti-potted my schnoz. (not) I've made it a part of my morning routine. It does seem to help, but it is far from pleasant!

The woman in the video must have the clearest sinuses in the free world! What they neglect to tell you is that if your nose is all stuffed up, the water barely drips out the other side and is joined by plenty of mucous and snot! Not to mention if you tilt your head the wrong way, your throat is "gently cleansed" by a torrent of disgusting salt water!

Anyways, when it's done the pipes do feel better and that's what counts. Love ya!

desert dirt diva said...

well you did a good job at trimming your bushes...damn, i can't believe they "lost" your dress... i would be sitting there telling them i wanta my dress, or i'm going home and gettin a lounge chair and camping out till they find the damn thing....or next time you go bring a chair with you set it up , and when they ask what your doing tell thme waiting for my dress....

Brad said...

Boy howdy, glad to get up to date on young bloods nose!

Wear your hair down - your to young & good looking to have it up like your trying to be all matronly and shit - ain't gonna fly.

We must have diferent pompass grass - you couldn't cut the stuff that grows up here with garden shears - hell that stuff will cut you back and bad - plus ours will grow over your house if your not careful.

Love ya sis - be happy dammit.

myomyohi said...

Why aren't you going to a tanning salon?

Dear Liza said...

Loved this post and cracked up at the nose update from your kiddo..

YOU are not fat, you are not pasty white, your hair is awesome, good heavens happy that you look as great as you do!

Hugs. :)

Anonymous said...

Hate to be the spelling police like Problem Solver, but it is called Pampas Grass. Had some in the back yard in Houston and the dam stuff tried to take over the whole yard. I had to cut it back with a chain saw and eventually dug it all up. Yes, a tanning salon sounds like a good way to get brown and toasty - or make a quick 4 day trip to Key West and lie out like a lizard on a rock. Cavuto is lookin good. Save that pic of the poker playin cat and enter it in the next cat picture contest - it is a winner! G5

Anonymous said...

If you tell the dry cleaners to hurry up and find your $4000. dress, I bet they will find it pretty quick. G5

Anonymous said...

Your purple plant is a loropetalum. I love them; pink flowers, grows to 12 ft tall and 6 feet wide so not a good choice. I have one I'm training to be a tree. aj

Vanessa Rogers said...

those days drive me bonkers!!