I tried to post all day yesterday and blogger would not upload anything. UGH!!! I was livid!
What I meant to say was ....picture it ......Schaumburg ,Il. about 7 years ago. My husband was home from Sweden for a week and my BFF "desert dirt diva" (Vicki,Poodles) was there to visit for a week from California.Immediately after they arrived, both of them became sick as dogs.He lay in bed day and night, in misery.She lay in her bed coughing continuously.I became a bitchy hag ,worriying that her coughing was bothering him. He was really so ill he didn't notice or care. Trust me, it was the funnest vacation EVER for all of us. NOT!
Why do I bring this up, you ask? Well because Poodles is flying out here in a couple days for our "annual fun ass girl week" and yep, you guessed it, she has pneumonia.The dang airline wants MORE than the ticket cost ,to change her flight days. Rediculous! AND now, they want a note from her doctor saying it's ok for her to fly.
Please send me your fun vacation ideas for pneumoia patients.
Note to Poodles: I have your sick ward ready honey!And I won't make you clean ceiling fans this time:)
Only 2 more months and my babies will be reunited.
I hope they don't hate each other .
Yesterday when I took Cavuto for his walk a lady had her garage door half way open, and what do you suppose I saw in her garage? Two baby deer in a cage! I am DYING to know the "rest of that story" !
******************************************************************************* My friend Eva had a real live southern mystery happen the other day.
She had an encounter that was too weird to believe.
Was it a ghost? An angel? A demon? A murderer?
Stay tuned to find out! She's typing it up as a guest post.
Somehow I had become the den mother to most of the groomsmen .............
Well, strike that since half of them were actually MINE , one had a wife and wasn't there. Lets just say ,I picked up 2 extra sons for most of the time I was there.
Before we continue....lets have a who's who of groomsmen.
L.to R. , Ryan (the married friend ), Andy (extra son), Wes(mine), Logan (mine) ,Eric (extra son and Beths brother) ,and Ian (mine) .
Those who are not "mine" have been friends of Logan's since they were 14 year old kids.
Ok, now where was I?
Oh, everything was ready, the food was in the oven to heat up while we went to the rehearsal . We just had to wait for Beth to get home and a few people to get there. I don't really recall why various people were late but lets just say that we were ALL late for the rehearsal and Wes and I were afraid the food was going to be lumps of jerky by the time we got back to it.
We went through the rehearsal itself two times. It seemed like the wedding shouldn't be too difficult.
I finally take my car full of boys back to Logan's house. Everyone arrives and mulls around starving while we finish heating the food. Beths mom also brought some fancy fruit flowers and some veggee trays and stuff (thank goodness)
There was quite a crowd of people there. Luckily none of the food had turned to jerky.Everything turned out good. (Wes and I take a bow) :)
I got to meet lots of Beths family, most of whom I had never met before. My hubby's sister Nikki and her husband Jim came up, from Ohio. I was glad to have some familiar faces there as well :)
We know how shy I am.
It had been a while since I threw a dinner together for 30 people. What was I thinking, bringing books to read and stuff? LOL, Like I was going to be relaxing (at ALLLL) .
Well , my MAIN job was now over. WHEW! but the boys still had millions of things to do. I rode back to my hotel with Nikki and Jim and left Wes my rental car. it was bedtime shortly after we got to the hotel. (no rest for the weary or is it wicked) ??
The next day .....wedding day! My biggest duty of the day would be stuffing myself into my dress and making myself look as human as possible.
The bride was planning to go have her nails done. I had told her I wouldn't be joining them because Eva had already done mine. (thanks Eva!)
Then I realized that maybe they'd want me to just stop by and take pictures of them .Nikki Jim and I went and had breakfast (a nice leisurely breakfast) Woo hoo! then they drove to the mall where the nail salon was located.We looked around at khols and waited an hour. No bride ,no brides mom and sister.
So we left. Not sure what happened but they all lost their appointments and then had to wait and wait and wait. Meanwhile ,Nikki ,Jim and I went to a huge thrift store on our way back to the hotel.By then it was time for us to start getting ready for the wedding.
I had my hair and face done when Wes,Ian ,Logan , Andy and Eric showed up with their bags of tuxes to get ready. Logan's house was 10 miles from the wedding place, the hotel was about 3 miles, so the plan was for them to dress at the hotel.We also had Matt (an old friend) and another guy (the photographer) in the room while they were getting ready.
Note to self: next time get a MUCH bigger room.
By the time all those guys were dressed my room looked like a tornado had hit . The bride and all her peeps were over in her and Logan's suite, getting ready. Ian walked me over there once I had stuffed myself into my dress. I took a few pictures of them getting ready and then we had to go. All the boys had stuff to do at the wedding place (Ian was the DJ and had to set up )and I don't know what else. All the girls were running behind. the hairdo girls had been late I believe.
For months I had been looking for some kind of scarf or shawl to match my dang dress but NO luck.We get to the wedding place and oh yay, it is freezing outside! First stop, the bathroom and what happens? I have an amazing NON_SCHLEPROCK moment! I run right into my girl Dawn and she is wearing the perfect scarf to match my dress!Of course she is sweet enough to hand it over. Thanks honey!!You saved me from feeling totally nekkid!
Lots and lots of people show up as I follow the boys around taking pictures. The reason my pics are so crappy is ,there were two photographers in FRONT of them taking pics. I was off to the side at a lousy angle. :) We have to wait to see the "real " pictures. As far as the reception pics I took , that was just basically snapping pictures through a dark room and just seeing what showed up.
The bridal party finally arrives and things are ready to begin. I was supposed to be the second one to go down the aisle, right after Beths mom. I was given my very own usher since my hubby was not there and I was ALL alone. (ugh hmm) Beths mom takes her turn like we rehearsed and then I am just standing there in a total daze.......missing my cue! OOPS.
Beth could not have been any cuter. Her and Logan are so damn sweet together. Oh, where was I? Beths oldest brother,John was the officiant .He made very few mistakes. lol Then Andy played the guitar while Ian sang a song .The mom's cried a little. We all froze a little. All in all the wedding was beautiful.
Once we got inside I was pretty clueless about the sequence of events. It's been like 100 years since I've been to a "real" wedding.I saw oodles of kids I hadn't seen in ages. Everything was just fabulous. The only thing missing was my husband. We all closed the place down. It was 3 a.m. before I got to go to sleep. WAYYYY past my bedtime.
My husband called and woke me up at 7. I had to leave for the airport just a few hours after that.
I am still struggling to recover from my lack of sleep .A sure sign of old ladyism.
Congratulations Logan and Beth!!! WE love you!!!
send us pics of California....now. :))
Part 2 of the reception (random shots) in the dark......
I think I needed an extra week for this trip. Ok, let me try and give y'all the recap .
I left here on Thursday for the airport.I knew that my suitcase weighed a ton but I had no way to know exactly how much until I heard those dreaded words "Oh you're 16 pounds over weight . You'll have to take some stuff out or it will be a 50 dollar charge." Oh great.And where do I HAVE to put all this extra stuff? Um ,nowhere of course.
That morning I had just finished the scrapbook , which wound up being 2 scrapbooks. (If you live near me ,it's safe now...I won't make you scrapbook any more) Anyhow, those weighed about 8 pounds. Then the 37 frozen bratwurst.....those were heavy as hell.I took them out of the suitcase and put them in a pillow case. Then by taking 3 books out of my backpack and putting the books in my purse I was able to stuff the cold bratwurst into my backpack.Once they took my suitcase away I though "oh crap, I hope they let me have meat in my carry on."
The bratwurst were frozen in 3 huge ziplock bags and then wrapped in packing paper and taped up.I was pretty sure on an xray they would look just like a bomb.My suspicions were confirmed when I heard the dreaded words" Bagcheck!" and was pulled off to the side while they unpacked my entire backpack.
Luckily they let me and my sausages go on our merry way.-After my uneventful flight I got my rental car and headed to Logan's house. They bachelor party had been there, the night before. Wes called me and said "do you want to help clean?"
"um..NO. I have things to cook. "
'Ok, I'll take down the porn and clean up the barf and dog poo."
"Please do."
I guess it was a blessing that I got lost on the way there as those "issues" were gone by the time I got to Logan's.
I had to leave shortly after wards to go check into my hotel and go grocery shop for the remainder of the rehearsal dinner ingredients.
It was after 7 p.m. by the time I got back to Logan's.Then I had to bake 2 pans of brownies and my assistant ,Wes made the coleslaw.(the coleslaw was pretty yummy ,I will attach the recipe) (the brownies,I totally screwed up) Ian later had to chisel them out of the pan, cut them up and turn them upside down to hide their hideousness.
By the time we cooked and ate some buffalo wild wings and sat around while Ian and Wes worked on the music. It was nearly one a.m. ,no point in driving 10 miles to my hotel. I just stayed there.
I woke up at the crack of dawn ,as usual. Beth was gone to work and the boys sleeping on couches didn't live there. So coffee and coffee maker were nowhere to be found.I hopped in my rental car in the clothes I had worn all day and slept in ,and went off in search of coffee.Was lucky to find a 7 -11 nearby .Woot!
The rehearsal is at 5 p.m. ,then there's 30 people coming to dinner and poor Beth had to go in to work. I didn't feel that I could trust the boys to clean the house up. So I cleaned the rooms people would be seeing and then left to go to my hotel and take a shower and change clothes.I got back in time to start preparing the rest of the food. The boys set up tables and chairs and decorated.
Somehow I had become the den mother to most of the groomsmen .............
To be continued......................................
I'm home and BOY am I exhausted!I have been trying for hours to upload all my pictures and am having nothing but technical difficulties. GAH!!! I will write the tale of my trip after I recover : )~
The wedding and reception were awesome. For now here are a few pics and the toasts that Logans brothers made.
Picture it...today as I am leaving this little store I start to back up my truck and over on the road I see this little bird ,flopping around. Oh great, it must have been hit by a car.At first I started to continue on my way because
A.flopping birds scare the crap out of me and B. I had no clue what to do with it.
Well, just then another bird flies up next to the injured one like it was saying "come on ! get up! "
I can't take the guilt of just leaving it there. I pull the truck back into my parking spot and go back into the store. there are 3 old ladies gathered there, talking.
"Excuse me, do any of you know anything about birds? There's a little bird in the road right there ,it looks like a car hit it but it's still alive. "
They all gather and look out there at the bird. It is still there ,flopping around in the middle of the road.
One lady says "Oh Dear, let me go get a box."
As she leaves to get a box I say "I'll go over there and make sure no one runs over it. "
I head over there with the other 2 old ladies and all of a sudden the flopping bird flies up in the air. With all that flopping going on it was not apparent that what we were actually seeing was TWO birds, having kinky bird sex in the middle of the road.
"Oops! Nevermind about that box.....mmmm k."
Well, I guess I won't be going back to that store any time soon. That was embarrassing as hell. How could I have known ? I have never seen bird sex before. Gah!
Tried on my dress this morning . Looked just like a stuffed bratwurst. Isn't THAT special. NOT!
Note to self: ask kids if I can wear a mu mu to the wedding.
I am pretty sure there is no way to lose 10 (or 40 ) pounds by Saturday so what do I do? I have the overwhelming urge to just go ahead and eat. I'm so disgusted I go have the Chinese buffet for lunch.
Well, I'm getting down to the wire here. I leave for Chicago in just a few days. Yikes! I have too much stuff to do. I'm a nervous wreck. My suitcase is the wrong size. I have small and humongous. I need medium. Yesterday I was going to cook the brats (which I am freezing and bringing with me) only I did not know that first ,you are supposed to boil them in beer. I did not have any beer and this lovely state dictates that I am not allowed to buy any on a Sunday. ack! So I'm a day behind schedule now. This is the first time Cavuto will ever be left all alone. We usually have all 3 cats. Aunt Floozie2 will come see him ,but he's just so needy right now. ( yes, I worry about that) My son just told me that it cost nearly $200.00 to rent a tux. I had no idea. that's outrageous!So, there's going to be over a thousand bucks worth of tuxes standing there. I hope this means everyone will be shaved and have haircuts. Can you imagine spending all that money and then looking like cavemen? (hint hint,to you kids)
Ok, let me try and stop my mind from whirling like frogs in a blender. ommmm.....ommmmm.Breathe in....breathe out.
I sure picked a lousy time to be a non smoker. ack!
I saw a girl at TJ Maxx wearing one of those house arrest ankle bracelets. She was shopping with her son ,about 10 years old. I had to wonder "What crime did she commit ? " Weird. And she was just prancing around like no one could see that thing on her leg.
Then later on at Walmart ,I saw a woman in line with a baby and a boy about 8 or 9. She was about my age. Or a hard living 30's. Obviously a hillbilly. She was wearing some skin tight short shorts and a barely there shirt. When she turned around , I see that on each of her saggy boobs (which are quite visible in that lovely outfit) is a tattoo of some handwriting. On the right one it says "Devilish " and on the left it says "Bitch" I'm sure that her son must be so proud, the envy of the school yard. Way to carry on the trashy genes lady.
