Dear so and so

This is my first "Dear so and so" post , the idea comes from Kat over at :



http://3bedroombungalow.blogspot.com/2010/01/dear-so-and-sonew-years-edition.html

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Dear world,

Years ago when I was really bored I told my husband "I'm gonna teach Cavuto to shake hands."

Yeah right. That didn't happen. He was young, wild and stupid. (The cat, not the husband )

Well guess what ? I have done it! I have taught my cat to shake hands!

Check it out :)

Sincerely, Crazy cat lady

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Dear England,

I've been here for months now and I've been trying to stay all "upbeat " and shit ...but umm ,I'm afraid I do have a few gripes that I can no longer ignore , what are you gonna do, take away all my British friends? BWA HA HA!!! Yeah. That's what I thought you would say. Nothing!

I'm free to speak then. I have a problem with your "no dryer" policy. I have played along, I have gotten used to wearing stiff scratchy clothes, preserving clean clothes, wearing the same jeans for days, the two day drying time.....but I'm having a real problem with the sock situation. In America, my sweet ass dryer shrinks up my socks to sort of "fit my feet”, but here....NOOO. Not only do I have to wear rubber rain boots, the likes of which I have not owned since I was 5, but I have to wear them with floppy, stiff, baggy socks that feel as if I scraped the dirty socks off some homeless guy! Can’t you even make a sock dryer?

How about my bras? What's up with that shit? Do you know what your 3 hour wash and spin cycle has done to my bras? Oh....well, I'm sure you don't care ...but I'm gonna tell you! Since you have made it impossible for me to drive here, with your wrong side of the road, wrong side of the car, stick shift diesel crap, then surely you knew that I would literally have to walk my ass off. Don't deny it. Now, not only are the few bras that I own. 20 pounds too big for me, but your stinkin' 2 hour spin cycle has stretched them out so they could only fit a circus fat lady!

And what about this heat situation? The technology is OUT there. WHY do you resist it? They have these things called blowers or something; they actually spread the warmth all through the house. That is what central heat really means. Having a radiator in a few rooms, that are still freezing cold, is NOT central heat.

There's more but I don't want to hurt your feelings.

P.S. I like the chips.

Cordially , Mrs. Saggy Bra

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Dear Mr. Landlord,

Thank you for giving me permission to paint your lovely rental. The splotchy, hideous walls you left us were bringing me down ,making me feel like I was living in the ghetto.

I appreciate that you tried to paint over the dirty spots but next time , try doing it with a matching paint.














I am painting the place a lovely neutral color called "cookie dough" I am happy to do it because I have to look at it every day.

However, should you find it in your heart to reimburse us for the paint, that would be just lovely.



By the way, the carpet is equally hideous. Should you ever decide to have it cleaned that would be brilliant.



Regards, Your tenant ,Mrs. Workaholic



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Tomorrow will be a "comment to comments " extravaganza!


Happy Monday guys!


Luv me