Road trip fun with Skatzi

Happy humpday Peeps,

Well, my Visa crap is once again on it's way to the British Consulate. Please say a little prayer that I didn't screw anything up this time.


Now that some of the rage has subsided , I can speak about Memphis.

SOUL: said...

makes ME wanna cry.
did you go round trip? or spend the night? i don't even know how far it is.
hmmm.

It's about 320 miles . "Did we spend the night? " Ha! You funny me.

I'll get to all that below :)

Anonymous said..

Stupid gubmint. Don't they have ink pads in Arkansas where you could make fingerprints? Good grief. Sounds like you didnt even go see Graceland or Beale Street. Right under that bridge is a little park on Mud Island where they have the Memphis Belle - a WWII B-17 that did 50 missions bombing Germany to bits. You can save all that for the next trip to Memphis. Ha! G5

My husband is of the "wham bam ,thank you mamn " school of travel.
He is in a HURRY. You will NOT stop to see any sights, you will NOT stop to dine in comfort, you will NOT stop to spend the night, you will be lucky if he stops to let you pee.


It's boring ,but it's quick. (We got there in 3 hours!)


I ,after years of this ,know what to expect and plan accordingly.


Here's how it goes. The first couple hours ,he is silent. Except for the occasional burst of road rage, because the guy in front of him is piddling along in the fast lane ,only going 75.
During this time his mind is spinning like a machine, thinking about that latest report he's writing,that next presentation, that next meeting etc...


I am sitting over in my seat, reading a novel.(in this case, the novel sucked but I had to read it anyway) During this time span, I meekly say "I'm gonna have to pee pretty soon. "
This really means "I'm about to explode over here." He will continue on until my back teeth are floating , HE is about to explode or we have to get gas.
If you want a drink or a snack ,you better get it NOW!


The next phase of the trip starts when we get back in the car. This is when his mind has slowed down enough to relax (he he ) a little, with some "full blast " talk radio. I listen to it for a while , while trying to read. Pretty soon I want to stab my own eardrums out . That is when I get into my bag of tricks and get out my CD walkman.I put on some really loud Nickelback, but even though it is turned all the way up , I can still hear Rush Limbaugh blaring in the background.
After about 3 songs I am able to ignore it. Sort of.


Eventually, when my stomach starts growling all the way to my back ......I will ask" I don't suppose you want to eat lunch while we're here?" This is when my husband will look over at me like I have just sprouted 3 heads. "NO!"


About an hour after this OR when we need gas, he will pull into a McDonalds. Only because he wants THEIR coffee. No WAY are we going to a second place for mere food, so we must eat something off the McDonalds menu. I will get myself a nice double cheesburger meal cuz , you know, I'm hungry! He will get himself a baby portion of some chicken nuggets or a fish sandwich. Cuz he's you know, manorexic.Then he will eat some of my fries and gaze upon my double cheesburger and say "I bet there's a million calories in that thing. "
Um...I'm not the one who chose McDonalds.



Next thing you know , the trip is over. Thank God!
Let me know if you want to go with us next time. MMMM K?

Love you! Honey :)

Oh yeah...P.S. Arkansas is the ONLY damn state that does NOT have a biometric center.
How back woodsy. ack!

*****************************************************************************

Any road trip is hell to me.

Today is half of a half day. woo hoo!
I'm about to do my chores and get the hell out of here.

Have a great day Ya'll ! I plan to do the same.

Luv me

Beware of old ladies with scissors........

Hi ya'll,

Yesterday morning I was supposed to get up at 5:30 and get ready to leave for Memphis at 7. I set a clock and everything. (they are usually NEVER set because our electricity goes out about every other day , for no damn reason) Natuarlly , the clock did NOT go off at 5:30 Nor did Cavuto wake me at the crack of dawn ...like he does EVERY single day. EXCEPT the day I need to get up. right.

Floozie1 shows up and we manage to get out of here ,only half an hour behind schedule.It is a long boring drive of nothing but fields of dead things. We finally decided they must have been cotton.

We got to Memphis early enough to hit a few thrift stores. The area we were in , which was near my appointment at "homeland security" was not the best area and the thrift stores reflected this. ack!

Then we ate lunch at what was claiming to be some "world famous Memphis Bar-b-q"

Well, I told Floozie "When I hear that claim ,I expect to be dazzled."

I was NOT one bit dazzled. Disappointed is more like it.





We got to the Homeland Security place . I had brought my camera so I could take pictures. (naturally)
We had to go through a security check ,just like the airport.

First ,the guy tells me "no cameras ,no cell phones , go put them in your car"

Great, I go put them in the truck. Then they call Floozie1 back to be checked because her big old pair of hair scissors in her purse set off the metal detector.

"No weapons allowed in the building, go put them in your car."

Now that we have been de-terroristed, they finally let us in. A lady immediately tells me "I've been waiting for over 2 hours."

"are you here for fingerprints?"

"yes "

Crap.

Lucky for us, all the employees soon returned from their 2 hour lunch. So we were out of there in about an hour.

As the guy was doing my fingerprints, I asked him "what do you do with these?"

"We send them to the FBI."

A. Who knew?
and
B. The FBI probably already HAS my stupid prints. I've had that done several times for work. ack!



We had come prepared to spend the night
"just in case" and if we did , we wanted to go down to Beal street and walk around ,take pictures etc.

Well, it was freezing cold and windy. So we decided against that plan.

We figured if we left town by 4 , we'd make it home before dark. (Both of us have night blindness)

So, we hit a few more thrift stores.






Then we saw Churches chicken. I haven't seen that in about 20 years . Neither had she. So she got some chicken to bring home.










At the last thrift store ,I found the highlight of the trip!

I got these fatbaby boots for TWO DOLLARS!

SCORE! woo hoo!!!Retail price $109.00






I was hurting like an old woman by the time we got home and she could barely keep her eyes open. But at least we got to smell chicken the entire way home.


***********************************************************************
Now for some comments to ya'll s comments :




Anonymous said...

Do you have a job? Or a hobby?

Thanks for asking Stranger, I actually have several hobbies. I do count my nap as one of them. I no longer have a job because we are moving to England. I will not have a job in England as I am not allowed to. Guess I better up the hobbies 'eh.


Brad said...

Rattle - Rattle - WAKE UP!

Just what kind of brownies does DDD have in mind?


Hmmmm.

LOL Brad, I'm pretty sure she meant the kind a Brownie troop leader with 4 young kids would make. That's what we get for her deciding to become a mother (again),in her old age. :)


Golden To Silver Val said...

Hey, you....lover of kittehs! Check out this little video, you'll love it.
http://www.cynical-c.com/?p=11627

All I can say is...Bless her Heart! But I sure don't know how she does it.

Hey Val, I've seen that before. Pretty cool. But I have to wonder "how in the heck can she afford it?"

I could totally see myself doing something that crazy if I had no husband to rein me in. LOL

Brad said...

Ack! I MUST HAVE THAT TOILET!

Where was that?

Several people asked about that toilet. it was at the Mexican restaurant where we ate.When I got home ,I searched the internet for such a toilet and I came up empty.

I'm not crazy about the sunflowers, but I am crazy about an artsy toilet. If anyone knows where to look for such a thing. Please...hook us up!

Have a great day Peeps!